人性的黑暗面

一直都盡能力去遠離這些醜陋的人性和事物，奈何這些人和事偏偏像是衝著我而來。為何要給我看見？是『他』給我的考驗吧！？

只祈求他別利用她的善良和傷害到她。

我的身份甚麼都做不了，說不了。

A sharing by hubby

Youth --- Samuel Ullman

Youth is not a time of life ; it is a state of
mind ; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red
lips and supple knees ; it is a matter of the
will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of
the emotions ; it is the freshness of the deep
springs of life.

Youth means a temperamental predominance
of courage over timidity of the appetite, for
adventure over the love of ease. This often
exists in a man of sixty more than a boy of
twenty. Nobody grows old merely by a number
of years. We grow old by deserting our
ideals.

Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up
enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, fear,
self‐distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit
back to dust.

Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every
human being's heart the lure of wonder, the
unfailing child‐like appetite of what's next,
and the joy of the game of living. In the
center of your heart and my heart there is a
wireless station; so long as it receives messages
of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power
from men and from the Infinite, so long are
you young.

When the aerials are down, and your spirit is
covered with snows of cynicism and the ice
of pessimism, then you are grown old, even at
twenty, but as long as your aerials are up, to
catch the waves of optimism, there is hope you
may die young at eighty.

kwit2

It really could have been more civilised. A nod, a smile to acknowledge the presence of the other person was sufficient. Even so, I was still grateful for the lack of such. At least, I know you are alive and well.

It's a big comfort already when all these years I thought I would never see you again for the rest of my life.

Perhaps, it was the fear of embarrassment or the trigger of any unnecessary negative emotions that prevented the communication. Just so you know, I am now happy mother with a loving husband and perfect family.

Even you may never see this, you are the only one who deserves an entry dedicated to you even being parted for so long. The fond memories remain with me wherever I am/ go.

One Year Anniversary - March 22, 2012

A better late than never blog entry.

This entry is to give my salute to my friends and individuals who had granted their love and help in preparation for our wedding exactly one year ago...

(late night blog....yawn... getting old)

to be continued....

Some excuses for not blogging in recent years

My literacy standard has worsen dramatically in recent years and I have almost forgotten how to write! Everytime I read my blog entries written almost 8 years ago, I wondered since when I stopped leaving time for reflection in this space. This space I used to share about my life, my thoughts, my ups and downs.
Indeed, thoughts come and go, and I like to just think and bury them deep in the bottom of my heart. But only to share with my closest ones (family and closest friends). Perhaps, I was too busy, too preoccupied with many other things in life, which, looking back, only some were significant and most were not. Insignificant ones took most of my time since 2005. Somehow, what supposed to be insignificant  did mean something to me. It was by going through such, then I have something to compare with so then I know what are significant.

(Significant ones - meeting my husband, getting married, fixing new home, getting ready for BB's arrival, motherhood, my new job) (Insignificant ones - boring previous job, getting in and out of pointless relationships)

In recent years, I have become unpredictable, I dislike following the norm, to do what people would expect me to do, this unpredictability manifests in many ways, how I deal with my career/ friends/ men... One of my ex-boss said to me ,"真係估你唔到。" (He was referring my speedy marriage and pregnancy) I thought to myself, "咁易俾你估到就唔係Amanda喇！"

Being unpredictable means now I don't like disclosing too much of myself in this public space. I like giving room for some guessing.