Monday, July 09, 2007

You are not the only person who live in this world

Havent felt so angry, disappointed, heart-broken and dispaired for a long long time and of course the person who can do this to you is someone is the dearest to your heart.

What he wrote pierced into our hearts so deeply, like a sword. I felt the world was suddenly turning like crazy in front of me, I almost faint and I could not think for a moment.

You are not the only person who has self-esteem (尊嚴). I have 尊嚴 too. If you seriously think that 500 dollars mean so much to you and lacking it for one day makes you unable to live, and worths you blaming the whole family, then I apologise. BUT I am not an ATM, you do not just press a button and I have money coming out of my mouth. How on the f**king earth I know u r f**king running out of money? You need to tell me so that I can get cash! If you did not tell me how am I supposed to know? And suddenly out of the blue blaming the whole family like owing you the whole world.

The anger and dispair I felt was much greater than losing a lover, it is not the kind of sadness that will hinder me from working, but my heart is so broken that you start to think although you have tried your best to care about somebody,that certain somebody does not even appreciate what you do for him. His thoughts are totally twisted, mis-interpreting others' behaviour of love and care. I think it's normal that every parents would worry about their children's academic and personal well being, as well as a noble character. But why on earth does he think like that? No parents would think unworthy of their children.

I had the money ready in my wallet, waiting to give him. This morning we were both getting ready to leave for work by the sofa, I was ready before he did, but I didnt leave, instead I sat on the sofa, looking dazed. 'Cos I was waiting, waiting for him to say "I am sorry, my words were a bit too strong last night". Then I would give him the money.

You are not the only the person who is alive in this world. We also have feelings, we are not ur accessories, we are not here for you to exploit. The feeling we get is that no matter how hard we try to please him, it is worthless and not needed at all. We don't even need to exist. You are not really mature if you never learn to be considerate, think from others' persective, respect others. Also to admit own's mistakes.

"Sorry" should not be a hard thing to say if you mean it.

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