An article I read in apple daily

Not sure whether it is ok to reproduce this here, if not...I will delete this from blog. In fact, I don't know much about this issue, but this article seems to make a lot of sense...

日期 : 2004年12月29日

當 金 錢 遇 上 權 威 -------周 宗 祐 (作 者 為 民 主 動 力 執 委)

從 傳 媒 看 到 部 份 金 融 界 人 士 大 肆 評 擊 鄭 經 翰 ， 及 由 王 紹 爾 組 成 「 反 政 客 大 遊 行 」 ， 便 體 會 到 一 些 香 港 人 只 管 眼 前 「 利 益 」 ， 而 不 願 由 近 而 遠 的 去 「 回 憶 」 整 件 領 匯 事 件 真 正 幕 後 黑 手 。 政 府 製 造 一 層 層 的 煙 幕 ， 去 遮 掩 自 己 的 失 誤 之 餘 ， 更 要 避 免 揭 露 官 商 勾 結 的 真 相 ， 這 種 愚 民 政 策 及 不 負 責 的 態 度 ， 實 在 令 人 髮 指 。 歸 根 究 柢 ， 房 委 會 之 所 以 要 變 賣 資 產 ， 唯 一 的 原 因 是 政 府 在 早 年 要 「 配 合 」 大 財 團 的 需 要 ， 禁 止 出 售 居 屋 。 房 委 會 在 「 負 資 產 」 的 同 時 ， 大 財 團 又 想 到 把 房 委 會 資 產 上 市 的 過 程 中 ， 可 以 大 肆 圖 利 。 更 可 怕 的 是 ， 政 府 似 乎 已 學 會 利 用 市 民 的 短 期 利 益 ， 一 方 面 去 製 造 矛 盾 和 衝 突 ， 另 一 方 面 去 壓 制 市 民 的 民 主 訴 求 。 如 領 匯 事 件 ， 政 府 官 員 利 用 股 民 失 去 製 造 利 潤 機 會 的 憤 怒 ， 去 抵 銷 被 外 界 評 擊 行 政 失 當 之 餘 ， 並 可 進 一 步 攻 擊 民 主 派 。 更 理 想 是 可 為 大 財 團 提 供 利 益 及 與 之 保 持 相 互 支 持 的 關 係 。 這 一 石 三 鳥 之 法 ， 可 謂 絕 矣 。
同 樣 ， 政 府 日 後 必 會 有 更 多 限 制 香 港 人 追 求 公 平 、 公 正 和 民 主 的 長 遠 利 益 的 舉 動 。 如 七 一 遊 行 的 場 地 安 排 ， 政 府 亦 大 可 用 公 眾 利 益 「 市 民 慶 祝 香 港 回 歸 」 作 藉 口 ， 限 制 舉 行 遊 行 人 士 。 西 九 龍 文 化 區 或 其 他 發 展 項 目 ， 亦 可 以 香 港 經 濟 發 展 受 威 脅 的 藉 口 ， 反 對 立 法 會 及 民 間 建 議 之 餘 ， 同 時 為 商 家 造 就 賺 大 錢 的 機 會 。 今 次 領 匯 事 件 ， 我 們 可 看 到 政 府 不 斷 為 大 財 團 輸 送 利 益 外 ， 專 業 人 士 亦 是 政 府 的 主 要 拉 攏 目 標 。 當 然 ， 筆 者 絕 不 反 對 商 人 和 專 業 人 士 賺 錢 的 原 則 ， 但 若 政 府 故 意 製 造 人 民 利 益 上 的 矛 盾 衝 突 ， 警 告 這 樣 會 影 響 香 港 經 濟 繁 榮 ， 來 迫 使 其 他 人 就 範 ， 那 便 絕 對 有 違 民 主 和 良 好 管 治 的 原 則 。
一 般 市 民 認 為 ， 政 府 重 用 大 財 團 和 專 業 人 士 是 理 所 當 然 的 事 ， 因 為 世 界 各 地 的 政 府 都 一 直 奉 行 權 力 精 英 的 管 治 理 念 。 但 是 當 「 金 錢 」 遇 上 「 權 威 」 ， 而 形 成 壓 制 性 社 會 結 構 時 ， 便 只 會 產 生 更 多 黑 暗 的 權 力 關 係 及 利 益 衝 突 ， 接 必 然 會 造 成 社 會 不 穩 定 。 金 錢 ， 它 極 其 量 只 能 產 生 一 種 實 際 影 響 他 人 的 能 力 ， 它 不 一 定 具 「 合 法 性 」 的 。 但 「 權 威 」 則 不 同 ， 它 除 了 有 法 律 體 系 上 的 合 法 性 外 ， 更 有 支 配 及 懲 罰 的 特 質 。 因 此 ， 「 權 威 關 係 」 是 一 種 「 零 和 」 關 係 ， 即 控 制 和 服 從 的 關 係 ， 沒 有 灰 色 地 帶 。 社 會 學 家 達 倫 道 夫 說 明 ， 權 威 關 係 下 形 式 的 人 會 分 化 成 「 統 治 」 與 「 被 統 治 」 兩 個 群 體 。 「 統 治 」 含 有 「 擁 有 權 威 」 或 「 參 與 權 威 的 操 作 」 的 意 義 。 而 「 被 統 治 」 的 含 義 ， 是 「 喪 失 權 威 」 或 「 被 排 斥 於 權 威 操 作 之 外 」 。
因 此 ， 當 大 財 團 和 政 府 勾 結 ， 便 立 即 能 將 不 具 合 法 性 的 權 力 ， 變 成 有 法 律 依 據 的 權 威 。 如 果 沒 有 良 好 的 意 見 反 映 機 制 及 渠 道 ， 如 由 市 民 普 選 產 生 的 立 法 會 及 行 政 長 官 ， 最 終 ， 只 會 呈 現 更 多 如 領 匯 事 件 中 的 陰 謀 破 壞 及 不 合 作 行 為 。 因 此 ， 若 中 央 和 香 港 政 府 、 大 財 團 、 專 業 人 士 和 市 民 真 的 希 望 香 港 有 長 期 的 經 濟 繁 榮 ， 便 應 盡 快 建 立 一 個 具 普 遍 參 與 性 的 選 舉 制 度 ， 保 持 香 港 繁 榮 穩 定 的 最 終 目 標 。

"Retail therapy works wonder!"

Oxford Street, London on 27th Dec, 2004

28/12/2004
Ok, I am now writing on the train back to Cambridge, I will write as long as my battery lasts. Now 28/12/2004, 23.15pm, by the time I get back to Cambridge it should be around 12.15am and I shall cab it back to New Hall! "Ouch" from my bank account.Things I have got ta do when I get back, take shower, (unpack?), CHECK EMAIL!!!! Go on MSN? doubt if anyone would still be online at this time of the night, but one never knows.

31/12/2004 (resumed blogging)
CHRISTMAS SALES...right, I started spending a bomb since 27th Dec - 30th Dec. 2 days of shopping in LONDON, and 2 days of shopping in CAMBRIDGE.

27/12-28/12/2004---LONDON SHOPPING!!!!
SHOPS I VISITED....
DEBENHAMS- leather gloves 10GBP (was 20 GBP), cuff links 10GBP (was 20 GBP)

ZARA- Denim mini skirt 19GBP (was 25GBP)

MANGO- purple top 9 GBP (was 18 GBP), orange top 6 GBP (was 13GBP)

ALDO- boots 29.95 GBP (was 59.99 GBP), pink bag 14.95GBP (was 29.99GBP)

I ATE AT....
Yung 's in China Town for dinner- 6GBP

Wetherspoon at O2 on Finchley Road- 7.78GBP

HK Diner (ie. Hollywood)- 6GBP

OTHER EXPENSES:
2 travelcards on 2 separate days- 8.60GBP

taxi back to New Hall on 28th night - 7.20GBP

29-30/12/2004 ---CAMBRIDGE SHOPPING!!!!
New Look- Shirt 3GBP (Was 9.99GBP)

Superdrug- facial wash (evian) 3.99 GBP (was 4.99GBP), Vaseline lotion 99p (was 1.49 GBP)

Miss Selfridge- panties ;one at 1.50 GBP (was 3GBP) and one at 2 GBP (was 5GBP)

Accessorize- woollen hat 4.50GBP (was 15GBP)

Republic- fluffy scarf 5GBP (was 14.99)

Actually, I felt that Cambridge is actually better for shopping because the shops are more organised and less crowded. Ok, the shops are smaller and you don't have as many choices, but in London, the shops are gigantic and one is so spoilt with choices and becoming so stressed being inside a messy huge store !!I ended up having no idea where to start looking!

31/12/2004...transition to 1/1/2005
I am panicking! End of December is here! I have not yet written a single essay! How come time flies even quicker during holiday?
My December was filled with GRE, Depression, Xmas shopping, SEX AND THE CITY (I am now an addict of the show, started watching from Season 1...now onto Season 4) and little bit of work!

Christmas dinner with Cracker

Boxing day. Feeling deeply sorry about the earthquake and tsunami at Southern Asia.

The Staples family came back from their Ski trip in France, and we had a bigbig Christmas dinner! With a Huge Turkey, bacon, saugages, parsnip, sprouts, mixed veg, roasties as main course; Trifle, Christmas pudding (yes again), and mince pie for dessert(S), and coffee afterwards! The boys had grown a lot, but little Sam is still as cute as before!

And guess what follows dinner??? TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was simply glued to my seat on the sofa in the living room since the afternoon til late at night watching TV. Nothing too exciting was on, just University Challenge, Marple (an Agatha Christie show), Murder on the River Nile, Haunted House. I had an English All day Breakfast at 9.30pm as my supper!!!

Heading to London on 27th.

My summary of my stay at Iris' - lovely, glad, grateful to be there, albeit a little bit cold, that's why I am always in the living room because it is where the fireplace locate! Loads of nice food, and TV!!!! Did not manage to do any work! And I left my Evian facial wash there in the bathroom. :(

There is one thing special which I noticed. Their (Iris' and Iain's) gaze for each other as the other person spoke. The gaze says adoration, admiration and love. Then I wonder, if I will ever be fortunate enough to find someone who would be looking at me in that way after being together so many many many years, when we both grow old and wrinkled. Being in a house of a loving couple does lighten one's hopes and dreams.

Yes, LONDON SALES, here I come!

Me and my present

25/12/2004
After I did the facial mask, I went downstairs, had a cup of coffee and 2 pieces of toast. Then I unwrapped my present from Iris and Iain Jim. It's a Fenjal shower gift set. I have never heard of this brand before, but I guess it is good stuff since it's swiss made.

Lunch was at 2.15pm, we had roast lamb with all the traditional sunday roast stuff despite it was in fact a Saturday, we had Christmas pudding after that! We talked about how funny it was last night at the midnight mass where the priest and the congregation would be engaged in responses, which reminded Iris about Carry on movies... "and up yours"...keke...

After lunch, I had a TV marathon! Started off with 007 Golden Eye, it was ok, I don't really like the actresses in this one, however Pierce Bronsnan is as fine as ever! Ian called when I was watching Goleneye...he seems happy. I miss him a lot! When it was finished, one of the BBC channels was showing Harry Potter 1, I was watching that while reading my book- "The Five People you meet in Heaven" (I finished that during my stay at Iris').....Anyway, I kept watching TV until I got sick of British shows (it was approximately 11.00pm), while eating 1/2 of a veggie pizza as my dinner. Then I dished out one of the DVD sent by KC...kekeke....KC posted me 2 DVDs with GUM CHI YUK YIP, 4-LEAF CLOVER 2......and loads of music.....THANKS KC!!!!! Anyway, I watched the last two episodes of GUM CHI YUK YIP, and then went to bed.

xmas tree

Cosy house~

In fact it's already 26/12/2004 00.47, Depsite no work has been done so far, I feel exceptionally glad that I am at Iris' place. I don't have internet connection at the moment, so I will just have to blog in notepad first, then copy and paste it on Blogspot when I get back to Cambridge.

24/12/2004
My journey from New Hall, Cambridge to Grapevine Cottage, East Grinstead.
Left New Hall at around 11.25am. Before that, I went to check my pigeonhole for one last time. Nothing was there ;) Then, I took the route from the connecting gate between New Hall and St. Edmund's College to St. Andrew's Place, thinking that I could drop a Christmas Card at Eddies for Jeremy (Mr. J). Regrettably, the front door of Eddies was locked...I couldn't deliver the Christmas card to Mr. J in time for Christmas, even though I only had dinner with him the evening before.

I used to go all the way to Emmanuel Street in order to take a bus to the station. How silly I was! After visiting the stagecoach website, this time I got on no. 2 (in fact one can get on either no.1 or no.2) from St. Andrew's Place (i.e. outide Toni & Guy, opposite to St. John's College, next to Round Church.

I got to the station at the perfect time, and got on the train to King's Cross London. Nothing was particularly special about the journey, apart from the fact that Ian (darling) called and we chat for 15 mins. He was on his way to a midnight mass. I had a thought that I should do that too. I consider that my transition from King's Cross to Victoria was smooth despite my heavy luggage and backpack. I enjoyed eating my mashmallow during my train journies (I bought the mashmellow from Lakeland ltd. They was soft and tasted yummy! Way better than Sainsbury's mashmellow) As I reached East Grinstead at 3pm, rain was hammering down. I thought I would wait inside the station and walk to Iris' house once the rain is stopped. I waited and waited for about 25 mins. Unexpectedly, I received a phone call from Iain Jim~ It was absolutely a surprise! He asked if I had got off the train yet, I said yes and was just waiting for the rain to stop so that I could make my way up from the station. He told me to stay where I was, and that he would pick me up!!!! I was flattered!

Arrival
The moment I reached Grapevine Cottage, I just felt as if I have never left! Where did these 2 and a half years go? I unloaded my luggage into the room where I used to stay in, and went down to chat with Iris. She made me a mushroom omlette and we just kept chatting non stop for like 2 and a half hours! I also showed Iris and Iain Jim my pictures about my life in Cambridge on my computer. I asked about going to church later that evening, and it was thought to be a great idea. So Iris said we could head to Church at around 11pm.

As the evening goes by...
I had some spaghetti at around 7.30pm, after that I sat down to watch Top of the Pops, University Challenge (Stage vs Critics) and Who wants to be a millionaire (I cant believe all these game shows could go on for such a long time like any other old British Sitcoms). It's the first time I watched British TV properly for at least 1 year and a half! The last time I watched TV was probably when I was at Manfred's house.

Neil and Sue came by to visit at around 9.30pm. I had a good chat with Sue about the way to revise, she told me," 95percent of the population makes boring, black and white notes." Yes, yes, I have heard the way to make notes many times, but just never get round to put it into practice. Drawing pictures and using colour pens are just too troublesome and costly. Nevertheless, I will try to draw pictures, putting words into meaningful pictures and concepts.

Midnight Mass??
At 11.15pm, I had not heard any suggestions of going to church since Neil and Sue were still here, I thought, well, maybe they didnt check their watches? Or perhaps they had changed their mind... ?? I felt a little dishearted, but was unsure about speaking up nor mentioning about going to church on my own, because I did not want to sound pushy and rude. I trusted that they would keep their promise and they did! We got to church, albeit a little bit late and the congregation was already singing verse 4 of O come, all ye faithful. We got to sit on the very front row (spare seats there). I was unsure about taking those places, worried that Iain and Iris might not like to sit in the front row. At the end, we took the places, and the service went smoothly. We got to get communion just after the choir did! How great! If we sat at the very back as we were late, we would be getting the very last bits! I enjoyed the service, it was the first time I had ever attended a midnight mass on Christmas Eve. Spending this time with Iris and Iain Jim was indeed special and meaningful.

1am...zzzzz
Got back at around one something am, had a crossiant and a hot chocolate (with Squirty Cream, starbucks impression) made by Iris!! Had a chat with Iain Jim, and went to bed very late. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz~

25/12/2004
Got up very late on Christmas Day. Washed myself, and did a facial mask. Havent done a facial mask for a month already....(to be continued)

Christmas lights at Cambridge 2005

GOING TO IRIS' TOMORROW, today got them presents....surely I couldn't go there empty-handed. I got a Cat apron for Iris and an Adidas shower set for Iain Jim.

I must keep myself BUSY!!!!

"The reason you are thinking about something for long is because you are not happy with it."
Is this true?

Following on today's telephone conversation, and after one day of thinking, I consider the above statement as false. Because, if the above statement was true, then it means that " You would not be thinking about something if you are happy with it." also true. But when we have some happy experience, do we not think about it afterwards? We must have thought about the process of what we were doing which was pleasing to us in order to get the impression that the thing we were doing was happy. Is it not? We also think about happy memories. So, I decided that the statement does not describe why I am thinking about "it" so much these days, i.e. I am not unhappy about 'it'.

I have attributed my unhappiness due to various factors mentioned in previous blogs (hormonal imbalance, stress, adapting to new room, uncertain about future...). I guess not being able to see YOU (you know who you are) perhaps does contribute a little to my sadness. I will leave it at that.

The telephone conversation did bug me a lot. Yeah, I know I am young (age wise) and I should have fun and meet people while I can. I have been told that by a few guys before. But does having fun mean everything (it sounds too egocentric)? What is the definition of 'fun'? You've made it clear before, I remembered. From the talk of experience, you said to me," If you are unhappy, you should get out of it." I am puzzled. I am confused about whether I am unhappy or not. I reckon I am just experiencing conflict. Does conflict= sadness? If not, should it be interpreted as sadness?

You said you understand. You don't want me to feel bad even you would be disappointed. You said you want me to be happy and I should not be under obligation to not letting you down. Are they just excuses to get rid of me? You said no. The fact is, I do not feel obligated! Instead, I feel necessity. obligation sounds like it's coerced. I just feel that I do not have the ability to see someone else... You know, you being so mature and understanding just make me love you even more! I don't want to be parted from you. On the other hand, you are so rational that it somewhat freaks me out (when I think that I am rational enough)...

Okay, perhaps I seem sad, but in fact I am also glad to know that you really care about me. Never mention this issue again, you know why? If I don't love you anymore, I can break myself easily from you with no remorse. But I love you, so if I have to break myself away from you, it would be damn painful and I would be more sad than I am now. I would be thinking about you every second, every minute of the day, thinking about what you'd be doing, who you're with, where you are...I would not be able to pull myself away from thoughts about you. But then, I would have no rights to do so, 'cos we no longer belong to each other. Hey, this is sad! That's why I don't want it, just the thought of it makes me shiver. The only way to get rid of me is to make me hate you.

As you said you don't think about 'it' much because of how busy you are with work, I guess I must learn to be like you- I will keep myself as busy as you, then I can be like you, not thinking about 'it'.

Another thoughts just came to mind.We have shown the fundamental differences between the sexes. You are strong and not so affected by emotions because you are a man and also older? I am weak (loser-thinking..keke) and emotional because I am a woman?

I believe in COGNITIVE THERAPY. I can THINK until I get BETTER! I am determined to achieve that! So don't worry about me darling.

One cannot help to feel lonely, right? I am not unhappy about 'it'. Don't put thoughts in my head which blur my vision.

Am I too stubborn/naive or what?

日有所思

讓我試試用中文寫blog.手寫板真的很慢，但又沒有時間學其他輸入法，沒法子。

日有所思

昨晚又夢到你
你說聖誕要來公幹
我心中狂喜

轉眼間你已到達
我不惜一切
也要去找你

因為我快擘不住了
即使只是一瞬間
我也要把握著

醒來時
心中感覺矛盾
回味卻無奈

I am so gonna get better

Anyway, do I get a permission to put your picture on my blog dear? Does your face have copyright? haha. I just love this pic so MUCH!!! I am starting to feel better but yet, today was still an unproductive day. Am I just too slow or time passes too quickly? I wanna get some reading done but instead I spent my day choosing a present in town. I also bought three books for myself.

The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom
PS. I Love You by Cecelia Ahern

I am so gonna have a great time reading.


Chat to Iris and Iain Jim on the phone at around 8pm while I was still inside the department library, I am gonna go to East Grinstead on 24th-27th probably, and then to London on 27th to do shopping! I have long heard that the winter sale in the UK is when things get really really cheap. Looking forward to that!

It was really bad that I sprained my ankle while taking my cooking utensils downstairs! I was wearing trainers! >_

I really don't know whether I should try to go to sleep or read my book "What is Clinical Psychology?" by Marzillier and Hall. Because I realised that whichever time I sleep, I end up getting up at noon the next day. I started thinking what's the point of sleeping earlier (I tried to sleep earlier in order to get up earlier the next day, but I failed to achieve that) ? My not so close neighbour is still playing some loud music ("audible" in my room) at 1.30am, I think I can hear it.)