Havent felt so angry, disappointed, heart-broken and dispaired for a long long time and of course the person who can do this to you is someone is the dearest to your heart.
What he wrote pierced into our hearts so deeply, like a sword. I felt the world was suddenly turning like crazy in front of me, I almost faint and I could not think for a moment.
You are not the only person who has self-esteem (尊嚴). I have 尊嚴 too. If you seriously think that 500 dollars mean so much to you and lacking it for one day makes you unable to live, and worths you blaming the whole family, then I apologise. BUT I am not an ATM, you do not just press a button and I have money coming out of my mouth. How on the f**king earth I know u r f**king running out of money? You need to tell me so that I can get cash! If you did not tell me how am I supposed to know? And suddenly out of the blue blaming the whole family like owing you the whole world.
The anger and dispair I felt was much greater than losing a lover, it is not the kind of sadness that will hinder me from working, but my heart is so broken that you start to think although you have tried your best to care about somebody,that certain somebody does not even appreciate what you do for him. His thoughts are totally twisted, mis-interpreting others' behaviour of love and care. I think it's normal that every parents would worry about their children's academic and personal well being, as well as a noble character. But why on earth does he think like that? No parents would think unworthy of their children.
I had the money ready in my wallet, waiting to give him. This morning we were both getting ready to leave for work by the sofa, I was ready before he did, but I didnt leave, instead I sat on the sofa, looking dazed. 'Cos I was waiting, waiting for him to say "I am sorry, my words were a bit too strong last night". Then I would give him the money.
You are not the only the person who is alive in this world. We also have feelings, we are not ur accessories, we are not here for you to exploit. The feeling we get is that no matter how hard we try to please him, it is worthless and not needed at all. We don't even need to exist. You are not really mature if you never learn to be considerate, think from others' persective, respect others. Also to admit own's mistakes.
"Sorry" should not be a hard thing to say if you mean it.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Afterwork streetside dimsum
Not sure when I have to bid farewell to my KT colleagues...Gonna miss every single one of them!!! All of them have given me some insights and inspirations regarding life, relationship, career, management etc. through many little incidents which happened during the past half a year...If I had gone to a different branch, I am sure everything would have been so much different for me. Today afterwork, went to eat streetside dimsums with big sis, miss sexy long leg, Yu and Dee...yummy!!! I will always remember this very night! :)
Hope for the Best
After talking to Candy, finally made up my mind. My brother got the call from HR this afternoon that he will be starting his Summer Assistant job tmr right away. GOOD LUCK! I wonder if it is because I made this decision in the morning, so that bro can start? Then he and I wont be under the same boss?
I will soon be parted with my beloved KT colleagues... I will miss them
I tell myself...I must get somewhere better off...asap...or I never will.
I will soon be parted with my beloved KT colleagues... I will miss them
I tell myself...I must get somewhere better off...asap...or I never will.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Crossroads
Still have not yet contact my ex-boss even I had promised him I would call on Sat. In my opinion, whether I call on Sat or tmr first thing in the morning wouldnt make a difference. The thing is...I really cannot decide.
What's awaiting is gonna be way more challenging, the hours seem to be worse but the monetary reward isnt guaranteed to be increasing...The reasons to justify the move are it will be better for career development, plus can lend a helping hand to my HO colleagues to ease their workload, who I enjoyed working with anyway. On the otherhand, for the past half a year, I had the privilege to work with a bunch of wonderful ppl at branch which I will miss so much if I do move...ARGH...To complicate the matter, I am comtemplating some changes. :)
Tomorrow will have an answer.
p.s. I m missing terribly the sashimi from hokkaido.
What's awaiting is gonna be way more challenging, the hours seem to be worse but the monetary reward isnt guaranteed to be increasing...The reasons to justify the move are it will be better for career development, plus can lend a helping hand to my HO colleagues to ease their workload, who I enjoyed working with anyway. On the otherhand, for the past half a year, I had the privilege to work with a bunch of wonderful ppl at branch which I will miss so much if I do move...ARGH...To complicate the matter, I am comtemplating some changes. :)
Tomorrow will have an answer.
p.s. I m missing terribly the sashimi from hokkaido.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
6/30 --> 7/1/2007
The last day of Q2 was ended with much laughter.
We did well even we lost 3 business days cos of the hokkaido trip. See? KT is invincible! We just got so annoyed having to do so many support DD when we obviously had not yet met our targets!!! -_-""""
Updates on the change of DSA team...seems like the change is not gonna be huge and my "favourite" top sales could stay...haha...this is crucial to our targets!!!! Thank god.
In the evening, the whole team plus our ex-colleagues joined us for Karaoke at YoPark in Whampoa. It is so sweet seeing my "Godmum" with her kids n husband, big sis and I are so envious (we both want kids!!!) ...The night was packed with much singing and fun. When Mr. A sang 顏福偉 - 愛多八十年 and 徐小明- 青春痘, we all broke into hysterics...btw, 青春痘 is one of my favourite too. He also sang one particular song which somehow triggered my tears, big sis immediately distracted me by playing some drinking games with me and told me to forget about the bad guy. Suddenly she became so strong...I know it's becos he was there...she must appear to be tough. Thx for supporting. On the whole, the evening was enjoyable, though an inevitable feeling of emptiness suddenly hit me when I got home and I had no idea why.
I think my bro is superb!!! He is getting more mature and he phoned me at midnight and asked if I wanted to be picked up. He worried about me walking back home on my own as it is so quiet... GOOD BOY!!! Big sis kept telling my colleagues that my brother is very handsome...haha...and he became shy!!!
I suddenly had some flashbacks on the same night 10 years ago. I was on a service trip with the Girl Guide to maintain the general order of the handover concert at Tiramar. That night was rainy too. It is in September in the same year that I left HK for studying in a boarding school in the UK after completing Secondary 2 in HK. What's coming in the next 10 yrs? Just see what life is gonna bring me.
We did well even we lost 3 business days cos of the hokkaido trip. See? KT is invincible! We just got so annoyed having to do so many support DD when we obviously had not yet met our targets!!! -_-""""
Updates on the change of DSA team...seems like the change is not gonna be huge and my "favourite" top sales could stay...haha...this is crucial to our targets!!!! Thank god.
In the evening, the whole team plus our ex-colleagues joined us for Karaoke at YoPark in Whampoa. It is so sweet seeing my "Godmum" with her kids n husband, big sis and I are so envious (we both want kids!!!) ...The night was packed with much singing and fun. When Mr. A sang 顏福偉 - 愛多八十年 and 徐小明- 青春痘, we all broke into hysterics...btw, 青春痘 is one of my favourite too. He also sang one particular song which somehow triggered my tears, big sis immediately distracted me by playing some drinking games with me and told me to forget about the bad guy. Suddenly she became so strong...I know it's becos he was there...she must appear to be tough. Thx for supporting. On the whole, the evening was enjoyable, though an inevitable feeling of emptiness suddenly hit me when I got home and I had no idea why.
I think my bro is superb!!! He is getting more mature and he phoned me at midnight and asked if I wanted to be picked up. He worried about me walking back home on my own as it is so quiet... GOOD BOY!!! Big sis kept telling my colleagues that my brother is very handsome...haha...and he became shy!!!
I suddenly had some flashbacks on the same night 10 years ago. I was on a service trip with the Girl Guide to maintain the general order of the handover concert at Tiramar. That night was rainy too. It is in September in the same year that I left HK for studying in a boarding school in the UK after completing Secondary 2 in HK. What's coming in the next 10 yrs? Just see what life is gonna bring me.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Q2 is ending
1 more business day and this puts an end to 2007Q2.
This also means I will soon have spent half a year in KT branch. Evaluating my life over this half a year, on what I have gained and lost, what I can say is that I have lost nothing, nothing at all. But gaining a lot. Things which once I thought I lost is not really a lost afterall when putting things into perspectives. Obviously I have not gained WEIGHT. :P I have gained friendship, responsiveness and support, all these I value so much in my heart. My colleagues are great friends, who give me advice when I need, support when I seek, are fun to work with and are so forgiving for letting me learning from my mistakes. From the branch, I see the REAL team spirit and it's really touching just come to think of it sometimes. I know it's just work life and emotions are just unneccessary, but I simply appreciate it so much for having them around and allowing me to learn and grow. These days I have already become smarter in dealing with customers in such a way that I am now being classified as "cunning". Well, not sure if it's a good or bad thing.
My "sisters" at branch have started blogging and they urged me to resume my blogging activity...not sure if I can blog like how I used to 2 years ago, as one of my netfriend pointed out I do not blog the way I used to anymore. I know I have some sincere supporters...thanks for reading, will hope to bring more insights back into my life and hopefully yours.
On a sepearate note, I have now got 1 "GOD MOTHER" and 1 "GOD SISTER" in branch (Mei Jer and HeHe) the whole DSA team will change again for Q3, and sadly my "favourite" top sales also gotta leave our branch...SO SAD... :( The DSAs from this coming team is so hard to tame...nightmare is gonna start again.
2.30am...10am work tmr. Bch bday K night tmr...hurray!
This also means I will soon have spent half a year in KT branch. Evaluating my life over this half a year, on what I have gained and lost, what I can say is that I have lost nothing, nothing at all. But gaining a lot. Things which once I thought I lost is not really a lost afterall when putting things into perspectives. Obviously I have not gained WEIGHT. :P I have gained friendship, responsiveness and support, all these I value so much in my heart. My colleagues are great friends, who give me advice when I need, support when I seek, are fun to work with and are so forgiving for letting me learning from my mistakes. From the branch, I see the REAL team spirit and it's really touching just come to think of it sometimes. I know it's just work life and emotions are just unneccessary, but I simply appreciate it so much for having them around and allowing me to learn and grow. These days I have already become smarter in dealing with customers in such a way that I am now being classified as "cunning". Well, not sure if it's a good or bad thing.
My "sisters" at branch have started blogging and they urged me to resume my blogging activity...not sure if I can blog like how I used to 2 years ago, as one of my netfriend pointed out I do not blog the way I used to anymore. I know I have some sincere supporters...thanks for reading, will hope to bring more insights back into my life and hopefully yours.
On a sepearate note, I have now got 1 "GOD MOTHER" and 1 "GOD SISTER" in branch (Mei Jer and HeHe) the whole DSA team will change again for Q3, and sadly my "favourite" top sales also gotta leave our branch...SO SAD... :( The DSAs from this coming team is so hard to tame...nightmare is gonna start again.
2.30am...10am work tmr. Bch bday K night tmr...hurray!
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Indulge~
Finally finish all my cramming and 3 IIQE papers within a shortspan of time...not expecting to pass them all...paper 2 is definitely the hardest of all! P3 is the easiest, and I would put P1 in the middle in terms of difficulty. Funny enough...I can only do cramming...I just cant work efficiently when I have plenty of time before...That's me.
My next exam: Credit Delegation in Early July...cramming will start again shortly!
For now, I m trying to relax. After my exams today, took the bus to Hunghom KCR Metropolis, went to my friend's restaurant, bought a girlie magazine n read it while eating Hainan Chicken rice. Then took a long slow walk back home. I feel so lucky that not a single drop of rain was fallen during my stroll back home. Time spent alone is a time for reflection, I hope some day there will be a certain somebody walking the mile, tasting the air right next to me.
Gonna get back to work tmr, excited...I cannot bear not joining my colleagues at month end!!! Feeling so guilty for taking the annual leave...but I really needed it...as my stupid body wasn't helping... have no idea as to what has got into me....just feeling tired and nauseaous most of the time... didnt sleep very well either. What's worse...parents has gone on a 2-week Eastern Europe trip...leaving my bro n I on our own devices... and obviously...I am doing the housework!!! Laundry, Hoovering, Disposing rubbish, n CLEANING THE TOLIET!!!! -_-""""
So...add on to the studying I gotta do....my vac wasnt supposed to be fun... Luckily, spared 1 evening to dine with F and watched Ocean's 13 at Langham Place.
As a result of my busy 4-day leave...I m still very tired...and the number of spots on my face hasnt decreased... :(
My next exam: Credit Delegation in Early July...cramming will start again shortly!
For now, I m trying to relax. After my exams today, took the bus to Hunghom KCR Metropolis, went to my friend's restaurant, bought a girlie magazine n read it while eating Hainan Chicken rice. Then took a long slow walk back home. I feel so lucky that not a single drop of rain was fallen during my stroll back home. Time spent alone is a time for reflection, I hope some day there will be a certain somebody walking the mile, tasting the air right next to me.
Gonna get back to work tmr, excited...I cannot bear not joining my colleagues at month end!!! Feeling so guilty for taking the annual leave...but I really needed it...as my stupid body wasn't helping... have no idea as to what has got into me....just feeling tired and nauseaous most of the time... didnt sleep very well either. What's worse...parents has gone on a 2-week Eastern Europe trip...leaving my bro n I on our own devices... and obviously...I am doing the housework!!! Laundry, Hoovering, Disposing rubbish, n CLEANING THE TOLIET!!!! -_-""""
So...add on to the studying I gotta do....my vac wasnt supposed to be fun... Luckily, spared 1 evening to dine with F and watched Ocean's 13 at Langham Place.
As a result of my busy 4-day leave...I m still very tired...and the number of spots on my face hasnt decreased... :(
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
If I should keep the words unsaid
Sleepless...
Simply have no courage to say or to do what I want to say or do.
Make believe that he does not care anymore. The damage is done. Whether I wish him HAPPY BIRTHDAY or not just won't make a difference. He won't come back. I might well not say it. Cos if he replies with "Thanks", seeing his replied msg will just lead my heart to sink once again. What's the point?
Sometimes, doctor cannot cure own illness...
Simply have no courage to say or to do what I want to say or do.
Make believe that he does not care anymore. The damage is done. Whether I wish him HAPPY BIRTHDAY or not just won't make a difference. He won't come back. I might well not say it. Cos if he replies with "Thanks", seeing his replied msg will just lead my heart to sink once again. What's the point?
Sometimes, doctor cannot cure own illness...
All the best Glenn!!!
Really really really hope that little bro (actually he's not little anymore) will pass his exams. And hope that he's not putting too much stress on himself... May he keep well. Amen.
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