am100

I could only say I am glad. I really shouldn't be troubled, but I am.

Thank you for taking care of me.

Shopping!!

It feels great spending own money~
It's already been a few weeks since finishing with cyberport...literally unemployed at the moment, I've been going through interviews, and reading loads and shopping loads!!!

Took out a paper and listed out my "winnings", was shocked by how much I bought!!

To sum up, my "winnings" include SHOES, CLOTHES, COSMETICS, SKINCARE PRODUCTS, ACCESSORIES, CDs, BOOKS.

SHOES: I lack a pair of casual shoes...so bought a pair of newly released Arnold Palmer shoes few fridays ago...

















CLOTHES: Got a few items at BOSSINI when there was a discount. The smart stuff there was quite nice. Got a shirt, a smart jumper, and a coat...but I consider those stuff are too smart for casual wear...so went shopping this afternoon for autumn causal wear. Got a top at IZZUE, a top and a pair of trousers at EBASE...

COSMETICS: Great to shop at Bonjour... One can get branded quality make up for much lower price than other shops. I also got my dream powder cake at Seibu -Ettusais' zero pore oil free pact! MISSHA's stuff is great too.

SKINCARE PRODUCTS: These days I am in love with MISSHA's stuff... I reckon the quality is good and natural, and the price is reasonable! HK is now overwhelmed with Korea's great quality yet cheap skincare products...good news for consumers but bad news for their competitors... How I notice THE BODY SHOP now needs to think very hard of ways to counteract with this Korean wave~

ACCESSORIES: If one just wants some cute and cheap stuff, MongKok centre is the place to go!! It's heaven for gals... this place is recommended for getting trendy earrings, necklaces, hair accessories, underwear (Undercover is the place to go... a chain store which means quality is assured), and ball gown.

When I met with Nelly in August, she told me she got one of those Disney Schedule for 2006 (see below). Each page is designated for a day with a disney character, different for each day. Fully colour printed and looks grand, I got one in MK for 150HKD. I can't wait for 2006 to come.

CDs: IL DIVO!!! Been wanting to get that for months! I finally got that after getting my first ever salary. I have also bought 2 days ago the pre-released DVD version for IL DIVO's new album ANCORA which will be released officially on 7Nov...Cant wait...

BOOKS: Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki which I am reading at the moment, got it in a bookshop in Mongkok (I compared prices everywhere and realised that shop had the best deals). Also got Stephen Covey's The 7 habits of highly effective people at PAGE ONE (TST) last week, I wouldn't have got it if not for someone's recommendation. I wonder if this certain someone would read my blog anymore. I wish.

Me wearing my new DIOR glasses and just had my hair done~~taken last friday

My next TARGETS:

A nice HANDBAG

more BOOKS

VERY IRRESISTIBLE (GIVENCHY perfume)

Last day at iRC

2 months had passed by so swiftly (argh...this is so cliche)
Today was my last day working at iResource Centre, cyberport!

My farewell lunch at 置富's Maxim Restaurant (Thx Eric, Alan, Wai, Kwan!!!!)
The dim sums were delicious!!


















Later in the afternoon, Danny and Wilson (my friends from cambridge) came to visit me!!


















Looking back, This work experience was quite memorable. Albeit the never ending data entry, I got to talk to many people when they came to visit iRC, young and old alike, which enhanced my personality, this job trained me in becoming even more outgoing and outspoken than before. I also notice that I may well have a flair for sales and customer service. I made many friends, some are great to talk to (talking to them forces one to be more spontaneous), some are extremely supportive, they taught me directly as well as indirectly about many people's attitude about their job/career, about workplace politics (not to start politics, but to realise its existence), about people's behaviour and personality, how life path unfolds... they helped me to see my flaws (which I could work on to improve) and also helped me to make important decisions in life. I hope that I will be able to keep contact with many of them in the years to come. I feel so glad to have met them.

Having a good memory is not necessarily a good thing!? Did I cause some beautiful misunderstanding???

Met someone special here too. SKC??? Secret Kodak Camera??? or a hybrid of SKII and DHC???kakaka...
Thankful.

Birthday celebrations

13Sept
Dinner organised by Sam and Kai for Lydia and me at WATAMI~~
The dinner was great, it's also a farewell dinner for Siu Kai...cos he couldn't make to the dinner party on 17Sept, cos he would already be back in Cam ready to start his clinical school!!!

















17Sept
Party organised by Sam for Lydia and me~~ (THANKS SAM for oragnising!!!)
Thanks Alex L, Boffin, Cecilia, Cherry, Eugene, Jenny T, Kenneth T, Sandy K for coming, and thx Sandy T (who couldn't make it to the party) for the lovely message on the card and necklace~

















18th Sept
Mid-autumn Festival!! After dinner at home, I went to TST with SKC (kekekeke...the identity of SKC is to be kept secret. SKC stands for what??? Secret Kodak Camera??? Hahaha... ) Apart from those years in the UK, it's the first time I went away from Hung hom for Mid-Autumn Festival! The Lanterns lit up the whole Star Avenue which were quite impressive! It was cloudy that night, but I had fun messing about with my camera...it was so difficult to get a clear picture of the moon without a tripod! I started to feel tired around midnight. I had loads of surprises that night...thx SKC.

































19 Sept
I was ill...got tummy ache and went to see doctor...WTF... ILL ON BIRTHDAY!?
But as a naughty gal, I went out regardless!!!! Finished dinner at home and around 9pm, SKC and I went to Victoria Park to see the lanterns exhibition and THE LUMINARIUM "LEVITY II" (It was the last day of its exhibition and I really wanted to see it...) However...
ARGH!!!! I was so disappointed! The levity was closed!!! It only opened during day time for a few hours!!! We could only take pictures of it being lit up from the outside!!!
It was also my first time in life going to park to see mid-autumn lanterns...I really admire those artist who made them! They were so pretty!
















After visiting park, went to have some warming up drink to soothe my aching stomach...Thx SKC...for the beautiful necklace...

















Also wanna thx ppl who sms-ed, emailed, called from overseas etc.... (Ronnie, Sindy C, Nelly, Johnny, Albert)

Mid-autumn festival cum birthday activities

Tomorrow (18/9) will be mid-autumn festival!!! And the next day (19/9) will be my birthday.


I think I will take a good rest on 18th, stay around at home and have meals with family. Then perhaps go out at night for some fun!?

There are a few places I wanna visit on my birthday...
could be found in the following website
Mid-autumn Lantern Carnivals 2005

I am thinking of visiting...

Victoria Park (19/9 daytime) for THE LUMINARIUM "LEVITY II"

Kowloon Park (19/9 night time) for "Glittering Beauties in the Wonderland"

But who would be interested in going with me I wonder??

My Mandarin is so crap!

September...

September... It could be just another month. Yet, my birthday is coming up in a week's time. This year, it feels much stranger than before.

I feel weird, perhaps knowing that I won't be returning to Cambridge; but my friends are going back there for their 4th year course and clinical school. I do not feel sad however, but I am still in a muddle about what I really wanna do with life.

2 articles by 李牧童 in Appledaily

李牧童(to@muktung.com) 's columns hit a chord with me these days, I have highlighted a few sentences especially which I feel quite strongly about. Some food for thought really.

2005年09月01日
當 情 人 想 分 開 一 下
情 侶 在 確 認 關 係 前 ， 都 會 經 歷 一 段 不 明 朗 期 ， 短 則 數 小 時 ， 長 則 ， 可 以 是 數 年 。 無 論 是 愛 得 輕 率 ， 抑 或 愛 得 審 慎 ， 猶 如 宿 命 地 ， 類 似 的 不 明 朗 期 將 會 在 某 天 重 臨 ， 分 別 是 ： 在 邂 逅 時 ， 伴 隨 這 份 忐 忑 感 而 來 的 是 如 天 使 般 美 好 的 希 冀 ； 這 次 ， 卻 像 撒 旦 回 歸 。 「 我 仍 愛 他 嗎 ？ 」 「 我 們 該 分 手 了 嗎 ？ 」 熱 情 歸 於 平 淡 ， 這 樣 的 疑 問 充 塞 情 人 的 腦 海 ， 揮 之 不 去 。 「 我 們 分 開 一 下 吧 。 」 情 人 向 你 提 出 ， 事 在 必 行 。 這 樣 的 要 求 自 是 難 以 接 受 ， 但 是 不 接 受 又 可 以 怎 樣 ？ 在 盛 怒 之 下 ， 你 或 許 會 想 ： 「 都 考 慮 到 這 個 地 步 了 ， 他 還 可 以 有 多 愛 我 ？ 我 何 必 忍 受 這 種 煎 熬 ？ 要 麼 不 分 ， 要 分 ， 乾 脆 現 在 就 分 吧 ！ 」 若 遇 上 這 種 情 況 ， 請 你 務 必 冷 靜 。 換 一 個 角 度 ， 其 實 可 以 這 樣 想 ： 暫 別 也 給 了 自 己 一 個 機 會 ， 讓 你 好 好 去 想 想 你 們 的 關 係 。 就 是 說 ， 他 有 權 放 棄 你 ， 不 再 回 來 ； 你 也 有 權 拒 絕 他 ， 不 讓 他 回 來 。 這 樣 想 是 勢 利 ， 但 對 平 衡 心 理 有 莫 大 幫 助 。 「 我 們 的 關 係 是 出 了 問 題 ， 好 吧 ， 讓 大 家 都 冷 靜 下 來 ， 好 好 考 慮 一 下 吧 。 」 這 樣 說 ， 不 但 能 令 自 己 在 等 候 時 安 心 一 點 ， 同 時 亦 加 重 了 對 方 的 危 機 感 。 沒 有 危 機 感 ， 他 就 無 法 真 切 地 體 會 到 失 去 你 的 感 覺 。 這 不 算 心 懷 不 軌 ， 出 發 點 是 好 的 ， 對 雙 方 都 好 。 還 有 ， 即 使 你 有 多 不 捨 ， 也 千 萬 別 說 「 我 等 你 回 來 」 ， 這 不 等 於 說 明 你 的 愛 垂 手 可 得 嗎 ？ 垂 手 可 得 的 東 西 ， 誰 會 懂 得 珍 惜 ？

2005年09月03日
幾 次 失 戀 了
談 戀 愛 ， 有 開 心 的 時 候 ， 自 然 也 有 傷 心 時 。 若 拖 拖 拉 拉 是 無 期 徒 刑 ， 那 麼 分 手 就 是 極 刑 。 遭 逢 失 戀 ， 身 體 的 某 部 份 彷 彿 死 掉 ， 從 未 有 過 一 刻 ， 你 這 麼 清 楚 知 道 心 臟 的 位 置 ， 原 來 心 真 的 會 痛 ， 像 是 被 誰 般 絞 痛 。 平 日 你 對 電 腦 顯 示 屏 工 作 ， 不 用 多 久 便 會 感 到 眼 睛 乾 涸 ， 現 在 ， 你 再 不 用 花 錢 買 人 工 淚 水 了 。 治 療 失 戀 傷 痛 的 最 佳 方 法 ， 是 投 入 一 段 新 的 戀 情 ， 但 戀 情 可 遇 不 可 求 ， 急 就 章 只 會 添 亂 ， 累 己 累 人 。 若 真 的 感 到 寂 寞 難 耐 ， 非 要 找 一 個 懷 抱 ， 搞 一 夜 情 總 比 胡 亂 戀 愛 好 ， 當 然 要 做 足 安 全 措 施 。
要 是 過 不 了 道 德 的 關 口 ， 也 不 用 消 極 地 等 待 時 間 來 撫 平 傷 口 ， 儘 管 時 間 的 而 且 確 是 最 好 的 稀 釋 劑 ， 可 以 沖 淡 一 切 ， 但 是 要 沖 刷 多 久 才 能 淡 化 傷 痛 ？ 別 忘 了 ， 同 時 被 時 間 沖 走 的 可 是 自 己 的 青 春 。 情 形 就 像 患 上 感 冒 ， 縱 然 康 復 全 賴 身 體 產 生 抗 體 ， 但 為 了 減 輕 咳 嗽 和 鼻 塞 的 煎 熬 ， 還 得 吃 藥 。 失 戀 的 止 痛 藥 有 很 多 ， 各 位 自 是 耳 熟 能 詳 ： 找 朋 友 談 心 事 ， 瘋 狂 購 物 ， 改 變 造 型 ， 看 笑 片 ， 去 旅 行 ， 做 運 動 ， 狂 唱 K ， 學 習 新 事 物 ， 上 網 聊 天 。 歸 納 下 來 ， 就 是 要 讓 自 己 得 到 發 洩 ， 得 到 開 導 。 有 個 朋 友 與 拍 拖 多 年 的 女 友 分 手 ， 媽 媽 同 時 病 倒 了 。 以 為 禍 不 單 行 ， 豈 料 到 醫 院 探 病 ， 卻 開 解 了 他 一 顆 失 戀 的 心 。 「 看 見 滿 室 的 病 人 ， 有 的 正 在 生 死 邊 緣 掙 扎 ， 你 自 能 體 會 失 戀 算 不 上 甚 麼 。 」 若 你 正 飽 受 失 戀 之 苦 ， 不 妨 到 醫 院 逛 逛 。 生 命 只 有 一 次 ， 戀 愛 ， 去 而 復 返 。

OLD CAKES @ FRESHERS DINNER
28th Aug 2005 (Sunday)
From left, Kai, Lydia, Me, Sam
We still look as fresh as the freshers!

This was the 4th Freshers' dinner I have been to, and this year was the grandest of the 4. Hosted in Sheraton Hotel in TST, the dress code was FORMAL! It was SMART CAUSAL for the last 3 years! It felt like I went to a BUFFET FORMAL HALL. They even got a speaker this year (, cos his son just got into cam to read natural sciences! The food was ok... the atmosphere could have been more relaxing at the beginning. I must compliment the organisation of the event as a whole. The games were fun. FaLun tried very hard to explain the rules to us ;) Michelle and Ying introduced cambridge life and traditions to the freshers with a witty presentation. Unknowingly, it's been more than 3 years since I got admitted into Cambridge. Now that I have graduated, it all felt like a dream. Looking at the picture, I still think we look as fresh as the freshers, and yet we have grown and matured a lot during the past 3 years. 高永文醫生 said,"Some of your best friends in life are those you met through university." They are words of experience. Time will test whether it's true. I hope they are. FRIENDSHIP FOREVER!

















LUNCH MEETING at HKU
(visiting SIU LY) From left, Me, SiuLy and Siu Kai
(thx KIT for taking the pic!)
on 29th Aug 2005

It's the day following the freshers dinner, after getting back home the previous night at around 12mn, I didnt sleep until 2am....the day I got up at 10something am, horray! It's my day off! I left home at round 11.55am, aiming to arrive at HKU at 12.45pm. Kai told me to take either no. 22 or no. 8 minibus from Star Ferry Central, so there I was... Looking at the minibuses deciding on which one to take (of course my criteria was costs!) When I was besides a no. 22, I got shouted at by the minibus driver!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He was so rude! I was shocked...and I was stupid enough to get on his minibus!!!!! No.22 is 50 cents more expensive than no. 8!!!!!!!! Anyway, I got on the minibus, as I had never been to HKU before, I was very alert as to make sure I knew where to get off. As a consequence of being shouted at...I was dare to speak to the driver anymore.... I AM SO SILLY! Why should I get the nerves just because I got shouted at??? I dunno....-_-""" Oh well, I managed to get off where I was supposed to be in time. So all were well.

I met up with Siu Ly and we were then waiting for SIU KAI... we called him at 12.50pm, and he just got up...(((((dot dot dot....*cough* FORUM~)))) UNBELIEVABLE!
Siu Kai...WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS LATE????? :P

HKU food is so cheap, I had a club sandwich which only costed 10HKD!!! and I got a Red Bean drink for another 10HKD! 20HKD sorted out a lunch is rather good value these days!

After lunch, Manfred picked me up with his car and gave me a lift back home. 2 months ago, I asked him to look after my notes for me cos my suitcase was too heavy to take onto the plane. That's why he was giving me a lift home as he was giving me back my notes...THANK U SO MUCH MANFRED!

Will you survive the corporate jungle?

Today I dressed up deliberately (see pic:Amanda @ IRC) so that I looked professional, and left office asap after 6pm; all because I have reserved a place at a seminar organised by Classified Post of South China Morning Post heading "WILL YOU SURVIVE THE COROPORATE JUNGLE?", which started at 7pm. Gosh, it was a mad rush. Got on 69X, got to CWB at around half six, it was quite a distance to walk to the actual MTR train from Times Square!!!! And even I got out of WanChai MTR station, there was still a long way to walk from there to HK Convention and Exhibition Centre!!! Though I got there in time, it was so hectic! While I was on my way, I saw my Dad's elderly Uncle and Auntie, they were in CWB MTR station walking very slowly...they didn't see me though, I wanted to greet them, but then I was in such a rush....I thought, perhaps there is really coincidence in life...that ppl who are close in some way (ie family) tend to bumped into each other more often even they live in totally different area?? so amazing~

The seminar itself went well...though i would like them to have offered us some refreshments (as it's from 7.00pm to around 9.45pm) ...oh well...it's HK...Can't expect that much...Considering the size of audience and the budget...it's reasonable I guess. There were 7 eminent speakers, divided into 2 groups for 2 panel discussions. Each speaker sort of told the audience about how their career paths unfolded, and their advice on how to cope with stress, passion, reality...etc. Very inspiring and thought provoking too. The moderator, Alison Chang, the Managing Director of COREsearch, encouraged the audience asking question by offering an opportunity to dine with the speakers. I.e. If someone asked a speaker a question, and that the speaker thought that the question was a good one, then he/she would choose that particular member of the audience to give away his/her signed namecard. And with that name card, that particular memeber of the audience could contact the speaker to arrange a meal to discuss anythin he/she wishes.

So...I was tempted by such attractive offer...I failed to ask any question in the first session, so I decided to try my luck in the second session. One of the speakers at the second panel discussion were the senior medical officer at Kwai Chung Hospital, Dr. S.N. Chiu, who is a psychiatrist. He gave a brief presentation on what is EQ and how to cope with stress. I so wanted to have the opportunity to meet up with a medical professional who is likely to be able to offer me realistic help and advice on the clinical psychology field!!! I thought of a question which was highly relevant to what he was talking about and was patiently waiting for my chance to raise my hand....My heart was racing, legs feeling shaky even before I raised my hand...I knew I was damn nervous. I wanted to overcome my nerves. I was watching questions being taken and got more and more desperate... When Alison asked if anymore questions from the audience, I raised my hand immediately even I was not quite prepared....then...the microphone was passed to me...I asked Dr Chiu whose responsibility he thinks it is to educate and to increase the awareness of the general public that it is normal to seek help with any mental disorders; and that there are help and support available within community besides medical professionals before one is mentally disturbed. Is it the government? education authorities? Hospital authority?? And if there is a clear direction/plan where it is going? The problem is Chinese are ashamed of letting others know that he/she has been visiting mental institutions.He answered that each sector does a bit of job in teaching the general public, but more coordination is required. It is improving.

After asking my question, I was hoping that I would get picked so that I could have that opportunity to dine with Dr. Chiu. I was sort of like praying/begging in my heart. AND at the end......

I DID GET PICKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Overly excited.

數 碼 港

Dunno why, I found the below article quite amusing, especially the final few sentences.

陳也在蘋果日報2005年08月21日的專欄

數 碼 港 是 女 人 的 迪 士 尼

數 碼 港 無 甚 新 聞 價 值 ， 不 過 早 陣 子 做 了 幾 天 港 聞 版 主 角 ， 一 句 「 給 數 碼 港 一 個 機 會 」 ， 成 為 Soho 區 吧 上 似 笑 非 笑 的 歡 樂 時 光 開 場 joke 。 官 商 勾 結 這 碼 事 ， 本 來 行 之 已 久 ， 誰 也 沒 當 一 回 事 。 數 碼 港 卻 剛 好 碰 上 這 個 「 結 」 ， 成 為 官 商 底 交 易 的 代 名 詞 。 後 來 ， 數 碼 港 更 被 踢 爆 ， 遍 植 假 植 物 ， 在 烈 日 下 ， 發 出 陣 陣 惡 臭 的 瘀 事 。 又 有 記 者 專 程 去 試 吃 那 四 十 元 一 碗 的 雲 吞 ， 和 發 掘 寫 字 樓 十 室 九 空 的 租 務 慘 情 。 唯 一 搬 入 的 高 科 技 製 作 公 司 ， 在 西 斜 的 海 景 寫 字 樓 ， 窗 簾 卻 是 長 關 的 ， 電 腦 芒 沒 法 享 受 貝 沙 灣 式 豪 華 無 敵 靚 景 。 在 眾 多 糗 事 頭 ， 只 有 一 樣 可 以 吹 水 的 ， 就 是 《 無 間 道 Ⅲ 》 大 部 份 在 此 取 景 。 那 些 中 四 女 學 生 輕 聲 歡 呼 說 很 cyber feel 的 場 景 ， 是 從 未 出 租 過 的 數 碼 辦 公 大 樓 。 假 使 租 客 有 意 思 ， 地 產 經 紀 給 他 一 隻 電 影 DVD 就 得 了 ， 不 必 長 途 跋 涉 ， 浪 費 汽 油 。
數 碼 港 的 「 政 治 爭 拗 」 ， 隨 曾 特 首 正 式 就 任 ， 塵 埃 落 定 ， 拗 都 無 謂 之 下 ， 稍 事 平 息 。 但 那 邊 廂 ， 娛 樂 版 醒 目 動 員 ， 長 期 留 守 在 數 碼 港 的 狗 仔 隊 ， 漸 見 隊 形 。 明 星 闊 佬 有 錢 仔 少 在 IFC 蒲 頭 ， 卻 喜 歡 在 蚊 也 不 多 隻 的 數 碼 港 戲 院 和 酒 店 現 身 。 閒 日 的 數 碼 港 ， 最 合 私 情 發 展 ， 想 安 排 私 情 曝 點 光 ， 增 加 籌 碼 ， 數 碼 港 實 在 比 澳 門 更 方 便 就 腳 。 數 碼 港 ， 不 宜 講 數 ， 數 口 精 叻 的 女 人 ， 會 度 到 絕 橋 ， 泊 住 大 碼 頭 ， 死 命 不 放 手 。 數 碼 港 叫 做 Cyberport ， 進 出 酒 店 一 雙 雙 的 男 女 主 角 ， 有 血 有 肉 ， 是 絕 不 cyber sex 的 。 喔 ， 再 形 容 下 去 ， 得 要 給 文 章 打 格 仔 了 。 見 過 世 面 的 女 人 ， 才 不 稀 罕 你 請 她 去 迪 士 尼 ， 要 玩 ， 約 我 去 數 碼 港 吧 。


數 碼 港 (Cyberport), is where I am working right now since 3 weeks ago. I am now working temporarily as a promotor in a cyber library called I-Resource Centre, managed by Hong Kong Cyberport Managment Company Limited.






















Me at work at my desk, taken on 10Aug. Thanks Sam for the pic!

Hehehe...since I am there to promote... I might take this opportunity to promote here as well, COME AND VISIT (me)!!!!

















Another pic of me
Can't remember when this was taken.
Just remember that evening I had dinner with Dr. Cheuk.

What's in IRC???
It has...

(i) COMPUTERS...(OBVIOUSLY!!! What so special about those computers??? It has a no. of powerful search engines, namely, FACTIVA, WISER, GARTNER REPORTS and IDC REPORTS, targeted at business and industrial users.)

(ii) NEWSPAPERS...Paper ones and electronic ones... including Ming Pao, Sing Tao Daily, Hong Kong Economic Times, South China Morning Post...

(iii) MAGAZINES....again we have paper ones and electronic ones...Paper ones include, Asiaweek, CEO, CAPITAL, HI-TECH, IDN, Creative Arts, xbox and playstation mags from the UK and US, Web design mag from Japan....And there are just too many electronic ones to be mentioned!!! The Economist, Fortune, Newsweek, The Barrons......etc etc....

(iv)REFERENCE BOOKS on 3D animation, internet design, graphic design

(v)SOUND EFFECT CDs and MUSIC CDs from EMI and BMG ZOMBA

(vi) Scanner (B/W only), Printer (B/W and Colour), Fascimile machine (free sending locally) for use (charges incur)

(vii) XBOXes and over 70 game discs!!!!

(viii) HANDSOME GUYS and ME!

Address: IT Street, Level 3, Cyberport 3, 100 Cyberport Road Hong Kong

YO! Come and see for yourself~

Let's Go … … Let Go

李牧童在蘋果日報2005年08月18日的專欄

Let's Go … … Let Go

字 形 與 發 音 皆 相 似 ， 卻 有 南 轅 北 轍 的 意 思 。 去 吧 ！ 要 是 喜 歡 便 去 追 求 吧 ！ 放 吧 ！ 要 是 他 不 愛 你 了 ， 就 放 手 吧 ！ 是 展 開 一 段 戀 情 容 易 ， 還 是 結 束 一 段 戀 情 容 易 ？ 答 案 看 來 不 問 可 知 ， 其 實 未 必 。 她 對 他 傾 心 ， 無 奈 三 番 四 次 遭 他 拒 絕 ， 原 因 ， 他 說 他 另 有 所 愛 ， 儘 管 對 方 不 愛 他 。 感 情 被 錯 配 ， 她 死 心 不 息 ， 相 信 守 得 雲 開 見 月 明 。 另 一 邊 廂 ， 她 與 他 在 失 意 時 相 遇 ， 因 為 寂 寞 ， 所 以 一 起 了 。 本 來 她 對 這 段 戀 情 不 存 厚 望 ， 發 展 下 來 ， 卻 意 識 到 自 己 深 深 愛 上 了 他 。 然 而 ， 就 在 這 時 ， 他 向 她 提 出 分 手 。
到 底 是 牽 手 難 ， 還 是 分 手 難 ？ 或 許 不 管 是 合 是 離 ， 愛 得 深 ， 便 自 然 難 。 林 憶 蓮 有 首 歌 ， 叫 《 傷 痕 》 ， 李 宗 盛 說 ： 「 愛 有 多 銷 魂 ， 就 有 多 傷 人 ， 你 若 勇 敢 愛 了 ， 就 要 勇 敢 分 。 」 因 為 困 難 重 重 ， 所 以 愛 得 更 深 ， 所 以 勇 往 直 前 ； 因 為 愛 得 深 ， 即 使 困 難 重 重 ， 也 不 肯 放 手 。 「 在 愛 情 開 始 時 要 得 到 雙 方 同 意 ， 為 何 在 分 手 時 可 以 單 方 面 決 定 ？ 我 不 同 意 ， 我 不 要 分 手 ！ 」 Let's Go 與 Let Go ， 分 別 在 於 當 中 的 主 體 「 's 」 ─ ─ Let Us Go For Love ， 讓 我 們 墮 進 愛 河 ； Let Him / Her Go ， 讓 他 ／ 她 離 去 。 進 ， 需 要 共 進 ； 退 ， 只 消 獨 行 。 合 ， 是 兩 個 人 的 決 定 ； 離 ， 一 個 人 決 定 就 夠 。 是 殘 酷 ， 但 現 實 如 此 ， 不 願 意 也 得 放 手 。 放 開 的 不 是 別 人 ， 是 自 己 。

DAY OFF

Actually written on 11/8

I was writing about my day off on 8th Aug last night (10/8) when my stupid laptop hung!!! Really dun know whether it's bad or not....cos I hadnt had written that much! But I am a bit worried about my laptop, it's getting a bit too hot even it's a P4 mobile...It's time to do some back up of my precious photos and lecture recordings....how I wish my dear dear brother could get me a portable hard disk as an early birthday present :)

8/8 Monday...After a week of work, getting up at 10am seems to be a luxury which I only manage to afford once a week! Left home at 10.45am for a meeting at 11.30am in Sheung Wan, thought i wouldn't be able to make it in time....hehe...luckily I made a wise decision of taking no. 26 minibus first and followed by MTR. I got there at perfect time!

A thought: Siu Ly...If you ever drop by my blog and see this, I want you to know how glad I am to have you as my friend...you are always so sweet and supportive. You always try to help me whenever I need. You are one of a kind, so special and kind-hearted. And Siu Sam too...You two are such a pair of sweet couples!

After the meeting with Siu Ly's aunt, I saw a Cafe Coral at Millennium Plaza and I thought of Dad. I thought since i was in Sheung Wan and that it's about lunch time, I might well be a sweet heart and call Dad to see what he's up to.... hehehe...He said he was queuing up for food at Cafe Coral, so I went over and said hi...kaka....I was quite sure Dad was glad to see me!!!

At 2.15 pm, met up with L for afternoon tea at Cafe Lagoon back in Hung hom. Had a good chat about things in general...L looks good with her new hair style, she had it done at Hair's Way (Previous Lavon's) at a reasonable price, I needed a hair cut desperately so I went there after tea. BUT MY HAIR STYLIST WAS CRAP!!!! I AM NOT HAPPY AT ALL WITH MY HAIR RIGHT NOW!! It doesn't look bad...but what I wanted!! I told him that I wanted to keep the length and had the top of my hair thinned...he did totally the opposite!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He insisted that he had cut a lot!!!! I originally wanted to do a perm next month...now my hair isn't long enough...

Went to the gym at my clubhouse after my hair cut, just before going to meet up with KC at MK for dinner. GOING TO THE GYM HAS NOW BECOME A FIXTURE FOR MONDAY AND FRIDAY.

DINNER WITH KC at MONG KOK LANGHAM PLACE~~ I was a bit late at finding KC at FORTRESS, and he was busy chatting to a potential customer, Woah...MT really not an easy job to do...KC is so cool! When he finished, we went to Langham Place and had dinner at a Thai restaurant called THE BASIL (apparently it's a restaurant under the Maxim's group). We were seated outside the store, the atmosphere was SUPERB, we ordered some Satee, a Ton Yum Hot Pot, a Pumpkin Seafood Curry, a Pad Tai and some coconut rice....THEY WERE ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS! YUM!!!!!!! Haven't had such wonderfully prepared Thai food for such a long time! Nothing in the UK could compare with these...We only finished eating at around 11pm and I got home at 11.40pm..... zzzzzz

What a day though, albeit my tiredness hasnt subsided...

Lake Bodensee 11-15/6/2005

Lake Bodensee

11-15 /06/2005

From Left, Kai, Sam, Lydia and me

Coming Soon.

Dublin Trip 8/6/2005

DUBLIN- will also update this when I have time.

Paris Trip 5/6-6/6/2005

I will be writing more here shortly...be patient with me!

PHOTO ALBUMS ON IMAGESTATION

PHOTO ALBUMS ON SONY IMAGESTATION (let me know if the links don't work)

Paris, France 5- 6/6/05

Dublin, Ireland 8/6/05

Friedrichshafen, Germany 11-15/6/05

Will write more about these trips later

(Of course the old Brussels one in March is still available)

I might not have...

I might not have screwed up Saturday's paper, but I have definitely screwed up the one I just had this morning.

This paper was on Statistics, Experimental design and a general psychology question. I could only do the general psychology question...ie. 1/3 and 1/3 of stats of the paper....I was completely clueless on most of the stats and experimental design ...even I spent almost a week to study the stats!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN!!! My effort was all wasted!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I screw up my MEL paper?

My Medicine, Ethics and Law paper this morning went... OK...I knew Organs was gonna come up...but I didnt revise....2 organ trasplantation questions did come up!!!!!!!!!!!!!DAMN!!!!

So I was forced to do the below questions... because I have not revised other stuff...even so...I couldn't do question 1...cos I did not revise the law on Abortion...all I remember was...er..."Abortion Act"...wrote a bit about perhaps the gal was not Gillick competent, in that case, the parents can consent a treatment (in this case abortion) for her. Moreover, the school might have breached confidentiality...(but then it depends if the girl is judged to be Gillick competent or not)....sigh...4 questions out of 5...and they are not perfectly answered either...probably high 2ii/2i bounday for this.

Section A
1. Julie is a 14-year-old girl who discovers that she is pregnant. She wishes to keep this a secret for as long as possible, but eventually goes to see a community health worker at her school who advises her on the options available and makes an appointment with he BP with a view to having an abortion. A scan reveals a foetus of 25 weeks with a cleft palate. Julie's parents complain to the school that they should have been told earlier about Julie's condition, but are anxious that the abortion should go ahead. Julie's 19 year old boyfriend is adamant that it should not. Julie herself is now undecided. Advise the parties on the legal position.

Section B
5. Why does informed consent matter?

Section C
8. What allowances does the law of negligence make for trainee doctors?
9. Is there a distinction between treatment and enhancement?
10. What legal tests are, and should be, employed in deciding if an adult patient has capacity to consent to medical treatment?

Essay marking criteria for PART II tripos

From my department website~

NOTE: It is normal practice for answers to questions in Part II examinations to be read by two people, who are likely to differ in the extent of their expertise in the field covered by the question. A good answer will aim to address the needs of both types of reader; thus, as well as addressing (often necessarily selectively) details of recent relevant research, it will also set the subject matter in its broader context, giving appropriate consideration to the significance and historical development of the subject matter.

I will only put up the criteria for first and upper second class.

First
Work, which is excellent both in the range and command of the material covered and in the argument and
analysis. Work that is excellent in its understanding of the subject; that has engaged closely with the question; that has shown some originality and treated the evidence critically; that brings in relevant material from an appropriate range of sources; and that is well-planned and complete. A first class mark may be awarded on more than one set of criteria: there may be a great deal of relevant information, displaying substantial knowledge and understanding; the arguments and presentation may be stylish; the approach may be original, critical or unorthodox. An upper first would be an outstanding performance, meeting all, or virtually all, of these criteria. A low first would meet at least some of these criteria.

I know I can't get a first in the exam...even though the essays I submit during the year has been of good first level...I dun think I can reproduce similar performance in tripos. So...I just want to get a 2i...

I want a 2 i !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Upper Second (2i)
Work that shows a good broad-based knowledge of the topic and the lecture material; that is presented in an organised way; and clearly argued and focused on the set question. Answers at the top end of this class would often include material from outside the taught material and where relevant, from different lecture courses and would include some attempt to treat the evidence critically and to synthesise arguments. Answers at the lower end of this class would be competent, accurate in reproducing lecture material and show evidence of reading of the principal sources of published work on the subject.

Taste of FAILURE?

A column by 區樂民 dated 21st May 2005 from appledaily

失 敗 的 滋 味

一 個 病 人 對 我 說 ： 「 區 醫 生 ， 你 的 學 業 成 績 那 麼 好 ， 一 定 不 會 明 白 失 敗 的 滋 味 。 」 他 念 中 四 ， 最 近 一 次 測 驗 三 科 不 及 格 。 怎 會 不 明 白 呢 ？ 我 告 訴 了 他 我 考 大 學 的 故 事 。 中 七 那 年 ， 我 和 另 外 兩 個 同 學 ， 報 考 英 國 劍 橋 大 學 的 醫 學 院 。 劍 橋 把 試 卷 寄 來 學 校 ， 由 我 們 的 副 校 長 監 考 。 兩 個 月 後 放 榜 ， 一 個 同 學 考 上 了 ， 我 只 在 候 補 名 單 ； 很 少 人 會 放 棄 劍 橋 的 學 位 ， 候 補 等 於 落 第 。 對 我 來 說 ， 那 是 黑 暗 的 一 天 。

晚 上 ， 三 叔 和 我 走 上 小 山 崗 ， 他 先 打 破 沉 默 ： 「 其 實 你 知 道 ， 即 使 考 上 了 ， 家 也 沒 有 錢 供 你 去 英 國 學 醫 。 」 「 重 點 是 我 考 不 上 ， 同 學 卻 考 上 了 。 平 日 的 成 績 ， 我 明 明 比 他 強 。 」 我 回 應 。 「 那 麼 這 是 個 好 機 會 ， 」 三 叔 道 ： 「 讓 你 反 省 失 敗 的 原 因 。 」 我 無 言 。 過 了 片 刻 ， 三 叔 緩 緩 地 說 ： 「 多 數 人 喜 歡 光 明 ， 討 厭 黑 暗 。 你 抬 頭 看 看 有 甚 麼 ？ 」 「 星 星 。 」 我 答 道 。 「 沒 有 黑 暗 ， 」 三 叔 說 ： 「 哪 能 看 見 美 麗 的 星 星 ? 」

Basically, the last sentence was saying ,"If there's no darkness, who could see the beautiful stars?" ==>similarly, the implication of the story for me is," If no one get crap grades, who could tell which students are better?..." So...I am here to get crap grades and let other ppl shine...haha...

1 week...Mentalising...

Why the heck i m counting down to my dying day?

I havent done much...studied loads of stats, and experimental design...

Another crazy thought...

Can someone just be evil/mean naturally? Or one has to be intentionally evil/mean?
"Naturally" as in this quality is inborn, the person has a very mean personality in general, but he/she only recognises this when he/she reaches an age of maturity. The other case would be that evilness/ mean attitude is slowly being acquired, not present at birth. Haha...this is a silly question, not particularly constructive, as it's debatable, like most other psychological/philosophical debate, another nature/nuture controversy. Most researchers stand the middle position, it's either 50:50, or each factor contributes a proportion of how we become. Even if there's evidence from genetic studies that genes do play a role in a trait, it's more like a disposition of higher chance being shaped by a particular environment factor, not like "if u have this gene, u will for sure to show this particular trait."

Anyway, that's actually not what I was really thinking about. I was thinking about how frequently we second guess about others, and how unhealthy it could be. The above question comes into play at some point. Ok, say, you second guess about someone being mean (intentionally) to you, not that you care really, but it bugs you somehow. While, in fact, that certain someone is not even awared that he/she is pissing you off, he/she has not even been mean at all. Misunderstanding causes you to second guess someone with ill intention. This is the problem. Because in order to have such second guesses, you must be ill-intentioned enough to be able to attribute such mental states that others might/might not be having. Thus, when one is able to think bad of others, one is also capable of such "bad" deeds. Are they signs of sophistication, cynicism? Yet, possessing such qualities doesn't mean one is a bad person, it's like knowing how to kill someone doesn't mean you have to go around killing people (stupid analogy)...Second guessing perhaps can come either intuitively or voluntarily. I am thinking, some people are born with this talent of second guessing (either correctly/incorrectly) , well, u can call it mentalising, this is what i mean by automatic. They are born streetwise and cunning. Some other people, rather being born with this skill, they gradually pick it up as they go through life, that's what I mean by acquiring the skill voluntarily. Or...perhaps the first kind of people i mentioned dont really have this skills inborn, just that they master this skill much faster and proficient than any other average people.

Tonight i m talking shit.

2 weeks

Recent plans (when I should be working...damn!)

DUBLIN , Ireland (8th June???) taking RyanAir would be so cheap! 27 GBP return.




Friedrichshafen on Lake Constance (Bodensee) in Southern Germany (11th -15th June) for sure. WITH THE USUAL GANG...haha...SAMLYKAIDA!



I wanna go to PARIS, France too...but I dun think I will plan that till 3rd June.

And today in department, Kai-En showed me a website of a new band (not really rock band, but a singing quartet) called IL DIVO... OMG....THEY ARE FANTASTIC! OPERA SINGERS WITH GOOD LOOKS!!! SO IN LOVE WITH THEM....LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!!! GO to http://www.ildivo.com




OMG...so distracted.

Now I can make this public...
(As the birthday boy has received these)

Panic attack!

Today got this shitty feeling that I dun have enough time to learn what I need to know what the exam... I might (will) fail!!!!

Walking back home in the rain at around 8pm...

Feeling so down right now...

All I need is a hug, someone pad me at the back saying ,"it's ok, don't worry."...let me just cry in someone's arms...

sunday =/= sunny day (Happy Mother's Day)

Bumped into Wilson on C4 bus two days ago...hehe...to Wilson," Thank you so much for the Hello Kitty Lip Gloss u got in NY... So surprised that u carry it around with u!!!!" ^^

The weather these two days has been really weird, one moment there is sun, the next moment it's raining, hailing with thunderstorm.

I must work harder and faster... At the moment it's too slow and I have tonnes to revise...rather, to learn for the first time.

At this inappropriate time, I am thinking much about men in general. Mean ones, horrible ones, lovely ones, sweet ones, perfect ones...

Women always say," Loads of men would be so nice to u, so enthusiatic, saying every sweet thing they can think of... just to get u laid, and once u have slept with them, their attitude changes by 180 degrees." Not that I have had such experience *wink*, but I do think it has some truth in it, since it's a piece of wisdom passed on from generation to generation. Women feel so bad perhaps not just becos the guys are irresponsible, but perhaps also the feeling of loss of attention, doubts about whether she had lost attractiveness? Simply, i guess humans (I do think it's not just women) in general likes others showing attention , affection, notice...etc. to them (as a kind of positive reinforcement). One may say," I am not an attention seeker." Fair enough, one may not be actively seeking this positive reinforcement, nevertheless, I believe one wouldn't resist it if it's there either. And then once one has it (the attention), one will get spoilt and feeling low when deprived of it.....so is the attention we are getting from others a bad thing? How not to get spoilt? How to make oneself becoming immune to the low feeling when the attention level from others is decreasing? By changing perspectives or by seeking for even more "sources" of attention? Hahaha...don't you think it's a very interesting area to contemplate on?

OK, so horrible men would do this "sleep & leave" thing, what about lovely, sweet and perfect ones??? How should they be like? I don't know how many gals would agree with me here. For me, an ideal, perfect guy should be...

TALL- i.e. 5'10 or above;
GOOD LOOKING;
MASCULINE;
SMART- i.e. studying or have had studied some really hardcore subjects at university, such as Maths, Science (physics in particular), Medicine, Law... The whole reason for this is that a perfect guy must be intellectual and must be able to cope with the harsh demands of the course.
MUSICAL- can play at least one musical instrument to advance level , I love watching a guy playing a musical instrument, piano is best!
SPORTY- good at a sport or martial arts (black belt)...anything is cool, just not too dangerous...tennis, swimming, basketball, football, kendo, taekwondo, thai boxing.
GREAT PERSONALITY- easygoing yet have principles...
KIND- Kindness is important, must show mercy and thoughtfulness in everything he undertakes.
LOYAL- isnt' that pretty obvious? Don't flirt around even he knows he's pretty perfect (ie he should be humble), little bit shy is sweet!!!
CLEAN- good personal hygiene, no bad breath!
GOOD TASTE IN EVERYTHING- a bit too much??? maybe...clothes? food? idea of comfort?
ROMANTIC and SWEET- know how to please a gal;
AMBITIOUS- has good heart which wants to do good for the world;
GOOD IN BED- haha...winkwink, not that it's a must, but Mr. PERFECT wouldnt be perfect if he's not, right?
RICH?? I don't think MR. PERFECT needs to be excessively rich, just enough to afford a comfortable, simple and healthy life, doesnt need to be luxurious, and be able raise a couple of kids properly would be great.

Hm....that's probably it....wouldnt that be great if such men really exist in this world in vast quantities??? :D
I wonder when there are many of them around, will we women become even more pickier??? I smile just by thinking of an ideal perfect man. How wonderful it must be....

WAKE UP NOW!!! DING DING...back to reality...exams coming up in 3 weeks. Stop daydreaming!

1 month

ONE more month to go and it will be over...so OVER..GAME OVER.

Havent updated my blog for awhile, these days I have been working like a mad woman on my dissertation. I am pleased and relieved now because I just handed it in today perfectly on time. It was mad...I underestimated the workload, and it had taken me much longer than I thought! The deadline was 4pm today, I was still working on my first draft 3 days ago!!!!!!!!! I got my first draft done at 7pm on Friday 29th April, emailed it to my supervisor, who is the head of my department..a Professor!!!! I apologised for getting my first draft so late, hoping that he would kindly read it...not that I had much hope anyway. Because he could have said I had been too late and refused to read it. Luckily, he did get back to me very promptly (within 4 hours!) My gosh, so fast!!!!!!!!!! His position as the Head of Department and Professor is well-deserved man!!! Incredible! He emailed me and said "Yes, you are a bit late. But you have produced in my view a very good dissertation...." He then suggested a few points how I could improve on my work. I was thrilled! All these times I think so shitty about myself and the work I do...The approval of the Head of Department (a renowned researcher) was indeed a highlight of my month!

After finishing my first draft of my dissertation, I watched "Bride and Prejudice", thanks F for the CD! I love it to bits...all the music, singing and dances, so uplifting...and I am starting to like indians now...Aishwarya Rai is sooooooooo beautiful, she was Miss World 1994 and she is just amazing and charming...she is indeed the most beautiful woman alive on earth as Julia Roberts said. I also like Naveen Andrews, what a handsome, charming indian.

Nothing much happened in April yet so much seemed to have happened. The whole month I have been working on that dissertation...I started going to church again, but skipped 2 weeks ( I was in london for the sunday before last, and then I was too tired to get up for the sunday just past)...oops...must go again this sunday. My faith goes up and down, my view on my relationship also goes up and down too. I am not even sure whether I am hopeful or not, and I dont seem to care anymore which is scary. I am changing... becoming more and more cynical, but not yet know what is to become of me. I wonder how darling feels right now? I am getting mad just becos I am too sick of everything and exams are coming? POSSIBLY.I want to maintain my sanity...

Today is gonna be my last day to "hea" as I just finished my dissertation, tomorrow I will start to work really hard. So I don't know when I will update this because I really should focus on my work now... My exams start on 28th May and ends on 3rd June. I need luck...just give me 60% so that I can get a 2 i.....it's all I want. PLS~~~~~

Retook the test at http://www.okcupid.com , I am now....

The Maid of Honor
Deliberate Gentle Love Master (DGLMf)

Appreciated for your kindness and envied for all your experience, you are The Maid of Honor.

Charismatic, affectionate, and terrific in relationships, you are what many guys would call a "perfect catch"--and you probably have many admirers, each wishing to capture your long-term love. You're careful, extra careful, because the last thing you want is to hurt anyone. Especially some poor boy whose only crime was liking you.

Your exact opposite: Half-cocked Random Brutal Sex Dreamer

We've deduced you're fully capable of a dirty fling, but you do feel that post-coital attachment after hooking up. So, conscientious person that you are, you do your best to reserve physical affection for those you respect...so you can respect yourself.

Your biggest negative is the byproduct of your careful nature: indecision. You're just as slow rejecting someone as you are accepting them.


ALWAYS AVOID: The False Messiah, The 5-Night Stand, The Vapor Trail, The Bachelor

CONSIDER: The Gentleman, someone just like you.

Forward looking

The past week has been magical.
The Brussels trip, Chats with various people, Church...
Is it just because of the climate change which made a change in my thoughts and attitude?
My deep appreciation goes to my friends, family and darling.
No matter how many times I am on the verge of giving up, they are always supportive and never give up on me, just like how God has never given up on his children.
What they say to me are so meaningful.
If I have never come here, I would not have met these special people....
indeed...they are REALLY SPECIAL.
How special? They are people who really have a loving soul, a kind heart, a strong will and they are hardworking!
I feel lucky and thankful to have met them in my life.
I seem to be able to see my goal again.
It's also due to them, I decided to give church a try again.
I am in the process of finding a suitable church.

I realise I start to feel motivated again around the same time every year ...is it really due to the climate?
Well, I dun care now.
Just need to focus.

BRUSSELS, Belgium 28/3-30/3/2005

Got back from Brussels last night at around mid night. The full 3 -day Brussels trip was like a dream. It's hard to believe I am now back in the reality again. It was a nice break from work, though tiring.We ate little, drank little, visited places a little, got headache a little, and slept relatively little. However, we had BIG FUN! It's a piece of memory which I will treasure for the rest of my life.

I will always remember...
(1) How we had so little/no sleep on the night of 27/3/2005, catching a train replacement bus at 4.10am in the morning to go to Lonodon Waterloo. How we ate so many pears, bananas, apples, kiwi fruits...and we were still hungry, so heading to McD's at Waterloo.

(2) Kaikai helped me carrying my suitcase. (& The bit we were trying to scare Lyly and Samsam)

(3) The crying baby on EURO STAR.

(4) The underground/ tram rides (with minimal travel costs!!!)
The way we called the places....
Art-Loi Kunst-Wet = ArtLoi...
Parc Park = parkpark!
Jardin botanique Kruidtuin = Botanic garden (quite normal)
Rogier= Roger (haha...)
de Brouckere= Broccoli....(keke)
Ste. Catherine = St. Catz (normal translation again...)

(5) Our very first Belgian Waffle after sharing a 0.99 EURO McD's Cheeseburger. (y? becos it appeared that everything was closed on Easter Monday). It was exceptionally tasty...while later on we got sick of waffles after having had a few...

(6) How we searched for cheap food. Our sandwiches, Greek lunch...

(7) Our first dinner. 10 EURO for a 3 course meal. Despite my terrible headache. We then visited Grand Place at night.

(8) Second dinner at DRUG OPERA. We had loads of chicken dishes. How lydia and I did not go to the toliet because they required 0.30EURO tipping, whereas we paid 20p to go to toliet in London Train stations when we got back on 30th.

(9) Our museum visits. The Musical Instruments Museum was truly impressive! One gets a pair of headphones which enable one to listen to the sound of an instrument when stood at a certain spot close to the display region. When we were taking the lift, Kai said it's possible that the cable of the lift might break and the lift might fall with us still in it. The Museum of Brussels show a lot of costumes for Manneken Pis...

(10) Manneken Pis. Not about the statue itself...but the jokes we made out of it...

(11) Our late night chat on the 2nd night (29th). We chat for like 4 hours til almost 5am... (Bau Dai Wok)

(12) Samsam and Lyly went to get NEUROFAN for my terrible headache in the morning of 29th...all waited for me to feel better to get up and move about...I was .... TOUCHED.

(13) Our Big Two (Chor Dai D) games on the trains back to London and Cambridge

(14) The fact that we got up at 11.40am when we needed to check out by 12noon...hahahahahhahaha.

So far I could only think of these things... perhaps there are more things I should remember. Oh well, it's 3.11am in the morning. I am not very good at recalling stuff at this time of the night.

After getting back from Brussels to my depressing temporary room in the Old block, NH, the first thing I did was to check emails/ messages from friendster, turned on my phone (felt touched when receiving darling's SMS), then checked my brother's xanga... I was shocked to find out something...

I couldn't help asking to talk to my brother today... after the chat, I am glad that he's not sad, but is just angry. I think he has every right to be angry too. I would be if I were him. Bro, I support u! That gal is just so "flower-hearted" and immature. Such a typical HK teenage gal. Who does she think she is? She doesn't deserve my brother's love!

But through that and also the chat I had with my friends during the Brussels trip, I realised something-- it's not easy to find real love. There are people around who want to find love, but they are confused with what they really want. Do they want just FUN or really LOVE? On one hand they want to find love, on the otherhand, they don't want to give up the fun they have by being able to play around with multiple partners. They are afraid of responsibility and real commitments. Until one day they find out what love is really about, they will never grow to have proper loving relationships. I feel lucky. Really. I think I have found someone who does know how to love. I know the effort he's making, though my critical nature causes my unsatisfaction at times, it doesnt mean I do not appreciate the efforts he has made for me. I DO appreciate.

I was disappointed that I couldnt visit him in S'pore this month...I did not hide my disappointment. I thought that I did not have the motivation to go on with work and anything else. But then... what could I do? I am trying to cheer myself up. I really want to see him...

I am not too down after the trip, though it's a bit dull being back here, in a depressing room, where the kitchen is far away, shower is gross and not hot enough during late night, toliet is cold, and the drain in my room seems to be permanently blocked. Water in sink seems to be stagnant and the stuff I spat into the sink plus the water when I brushed my teeth remains there for over 14 hours. It's so unhygienic and so unpleasant to look at. And then I received some bad news about not being able to see my bf this hols. I can't be blamed for feeling down, can I?

Oh well. Will get back to work tomorrow.

Leaving for Brussels in a few hours...can't sleep. DAMN.

Come to think about it... my darling acts a bit strange these days...Is it an reaction to my emotionality? I am a bit confused. How to strike a balance? How not to exert pressure? How come one could look so amused at one moment and then looking so impatient at the next?

Even saying that, deep in my heart, I could sense the effort u r making. I don't want u to be unhappy though.

I am in conflict all the time. My cynical view about men conflicts with the fantastic being I am in love with. Hence my ambivalent behaviour towards u?

Perhaps I could sleep for a short while.

Can't think of a title....

After this moving room incident, I have lost my hope and trust in my college. All it cares about is earning money, and dun care about our feelings and academic work. The reasons they gave were futile too. It was SO OBVIOUS that it was some staff's inconsistency problem...which led to the mistakes ( as in if u know that taking a certain no. of guests would affect some of your finalists, it'd better stay put and hold it there, dun take in more than you can afford.), they knew it's their fault. And the senior tutor asked me not to think we the students are in any sense paying for someone's mistakes. HIDEOUS. PATHETIC. Does he really think I am a 10 yr old naive gullible gal who would believe in such appalling excuses? The brits are just so good at finding scapegoat, and finding excuses for their mistakes. NH is run by morons. THEIR CONSEQUENCE OF BEING GREEDY SHOULDN' T AFFECT THEM, JUST MAKE THE STUDENTS MOVE... MAKE THE STUDENTS SUFFER...

I wonder if they are running a hotel or a convention centre. They are so crazy about genertating revenue til they have lost their mind! Perhaps they only have a very minimal amount of conscience, just for those who got exams straight after the holiday...I have got a dissertation deadline straight after the holiday too...It is also important. Shame on Dr S, to be the Sen Tut of NH. Just that 20 odd guests is not gonna make a huge difference on the income, but by making us move, they have lost our trust and respect. I could no longer show respect to the college as a whole. If I run an institution, I would not be so heartless. Afterall, an institution with unhappy exhausted students cannot thrive. Money in fact is a secondary.

THINGS HE SAID:

"Can't see the time moving would be any more than those who go home."
It's definitely more! People tend to have parents coming in to help them... So Dr. S, are u willing to come and help me move my stuff? It took me 2 days to move out and likely to take 2 days to move back in again. Besides, ppl made plans going home, they have allocated time for it. I did not ask to be moved damn u. Thus, why should I sacrifice my time for u to make money out of my expenses?

"Moving room is the standard expectation."
"Can just say that the finalists in the past were just luckier than you are."

Yes, although u could say that and it made sense with the license agreement, I dun think they have put in enough effort not to move us if they do value us as members of the college. So obviously they dun care about what grades we get and our needs in order to achieve our best.

My friend said, "NO WONDER NH STILL RANKS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE TOMLINKSON TABLE, WHILE NEWNHAM HAS GOT SO MUCH HIGHER. IT MUST BE BECOS NH IS RUN BY SUCH HEARTLESS CREATURES." I start to think it's true. Perhaps Dr S is right ,"WE ARE NOT TRINITY AND DUN HAVE THE FACILITIES SIMILAR TO TRINITY FOR OUR STUDENTS AND STAFFS" No wonder...so we have every reason to get crap grades becos we are not from Trinity!!!! And our fellows are not as smart as those in Trinity due to the fact that we are not TRINITY! YEAH!

Now I have already moved. As the last words, I have fought for my rights. I did not succeed and now this problem is out of my hands. I shan't think about it no more.

Things I posted in XANGA for the past 2 days

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Just took this quiz...

http://www.yournewromance.com/girlfriendquiz.html

Results:
You Are A Professional Girlfriend!You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise!Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro.If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you.You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy.

Er...So I am a pro.....o.O"""

This is the link which I was trying to get from my friend's xanga.

Birth Chart

http://astro-software.com/cgi-bin/astro/natal

Try it, it's very detailed, perhaps that's why it's accurate?

Opened a xanga account today just because this afternoon I needed to search for a link which appeared on my friend's xanga...so....here I am! I don't usually use xanga, but use blogspot. My blogspot http://nmat2.blogspot.com .


Thursday, March 24, 2005

UPSET!!!!!!!!!!!

Email I got on Mon from Accommodation office:

Dear Amanda
You may remain in your own room over the vacation. Please be awareconference delegates are in residence and leave the kitchen tidy.

Many thanks
Annette
Annette Jay

Email I got this afternoon at 6.15pm:

Dear Amanda
Firstly, I must apologise for the email I sent earlier this week, where Isaid I would be able to leave you in your own room. Unfortunately, due tohigh Conference demands, I must ask you to move to a temporary room, D8 byTuesday 29th March, you may move back again on Monday 11th April. Pleasecollect your key form the P/lodge. Dr Saxton, the Senior Tutor, is aware ofthe situation, and I can only apologise again for the inconvenience thiswill cause.
Regards
Annette
Annette Jay
Housekeeper

I cried for 45 mins after that. And ran around college trying to find My Ex-DOS (ie the Senior Tutor) and then I chat to the Accommodation women.

Do you know how it feels? Come on, I am a finalist! For the past years, New Hall finalists were able to remain in their own rooms during the Easter vacation, without the hassles of moving to a different room. I simply had no plan of moving at all. Think about it, is earning money that important? This is a really important time of my life, I just cannot afford moving about with all my stuff which will at least take 2 whole days plus aching muscles. And then 11 whole days of being depressed, not being able to concentrate in a strange room. Do they have an idea how damaging it is to someone who needs to be spending to work hard for their finals? I have got a dissertation deadline coming up within a month, and I have got tonnes to do! It is just not fair when it is the staff's fault for their mis-communications between Accommodation office and the Conference Office, and then the students need to suffer. I really wanted to say APOLOGIES AREN'T ENOUGH. It doesnt matter if all my stuff could be magically moved somewhere else and I just move my person. Do they acknowledge the fact that it takesTONNES OF TIME TO MOVE TO AND FROM a room? U CANT BUY TIME...especially when time is running short for us. I think the college should apologise to the conference guests and ask them to live in hotel, they should pay for their mistakes, not using our TIME to pay. Ask Fitz if they could accommodate some of their conference guests? It is simply not fair while the finalists in the past have always been able to enjoy the privileges, and when it comes to us, they just say ,"Sorry, it's never happened before, only shit happens then we know something is wrong to the present system and we could do something about it to prevent it happens again." Don't they have foresight? ....pride themselves with excellent management skills...bullshit.

UPSET.

Thus I wrote this email:

Dear Dr. Saxton,

Below is an email which I received earlier which extremely upsets me. I cannot believe this happens at this very important time, I had no plan of moving and this truly disrupted my working plan. To keep it short, I would hope that you could send an email to Annette giving me permission to stay in my room (J13). I am not hopeful since many people had turned to you and been turned down. Simply, I just want to plead, beg, or whatever, if you know how upset I was and still am.

My reasons are as follows:
(i) My strongest reason is the fact that I stayed in College over Christmas, and after moving to another room, I was depressed for the majority of time and was unable to work efficiently. I felt unsettled, distracted and disoriented. I do not wish this to happen again, and surely not when it's so close to my dissertation deadline and finals.

(ii) Due to (i), it is time that I need most, and now I am being deprived of it. Moving room will take at least 2 whole days, plus aching muscles, and then some 10 days of adjusting and depression (on my part). I just want this fact to be acknowledged and understood. Moving room can’t be done in the speed of light, and it does take a huge amount of time and energy. If I were a conference guest, I would have guilty conscience if I had known that even the final year students had to make so much effort (rather, sacrifice) for my short stay.

(iii) I am well aware that in the license agreement I am not guaranteed my own room during vacation. While in the past finalists had been able to enjoy the privileges of remaining residence in their own rooms for the Easter Vacation, I feel it’s really unfair and we are hugely disadvantaged. Besides, as an international student, I feel like I have no one to turn to, I cannot just go home like everybody else. How come it seems like an impossible task just to ask for some stability?

(iv) I feel that despite the miscommunication mistakes made by the staff, it shouldn’t be down to the students (FINALISTS) to pay for their mistakes. This might not be something I am qualified to say, since I am just a student. But I feel that if someone has made a mistake, apologies are not sufficient, especially if it concerns over 20 people’s welfare. Shouldn’t the one who made the mistakes be held responsible for what happened?

(v) It’s very nice and well for others to say that life throws you into unexpected events from time to time, they hit you real hard, which there are no rights and wrongs, and it’s all about coping. By thinking like that, one really could eliminate many troubles and sorrows. But if everyone in the world thinks like that, no one would fight for anything they are worthy of. It is about principles. I understand that the college needs to make money for building the new graduate accommodation. But money could be made slowly on a long-term basis, while the finalists only have one opportunity for their finals and our future is dependent on it (well, if it doesn’t apply to everybody, at least it applies to me). The benefit for the present students and for the future student is not balanced.

I should end this long-winded email. I apologize for sounding so extreme and deeply troubled. The fact is, I am troubled and feel very disappointed with the college. I just hope that I could gain your support at this very important yet difficult time. Thank you so much for reading. Since I am going to Brussels from 28th for 3 days, I only have from Friday until Sunday to move if I really have to (but unwilling). Therefore, I would enormously appreciate your prompt response.

Wishing you a very happy Easter.

Regards,

Amanda Tsui

I opened a XANGA site. BUT I love blogspot more

this is the site~

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=nmat2

Who says there will be sunshine all along?

Who says there will be sunshine all along our way and we will be happy everafter?

There are times, when the sky gets cloudy and we can't see what's ahead of us because it's foggy. Not a matter of BELIEVE, but as a matter of fact, we will soon see the SILVER LINING, and the SUN will be out again in no time, and we would be able to feel the warmth again. Perhaps we are going and will go through many of such periods of time, but the fact is, it will only get better when u r at a down point. Let's remind ourselves (or me in particular), THERE WILL ALWAYS BE TOMORROW and HAVE FAITH.

We cannot be calculative all the time, if it's the case, it's not LOVE. Though I understand LOVE is also about letting your loved ones to pursue their dreams and ambitions, and cannot solely be satisfying your very own needs and desires; and that, it takes one to be able to analyse what's the best way to balance both views. I do hope that things will eventually work out. In fact, not just hope, I WANT things to work out at the end. I will never succumb to the REALITY. That's the DETERMINATION shown by a VIRGO. You might say I am STUBBORN. Even I might be upset now, and have negative thoughts about giving up, I will not cease to fight. I am a fighter!

As long as you still have the determination like I do, things will be fine. BE BOLD. Afterall, happiness is very subjective.

I do struggle between duty and something? (DUTY VS U) The fact that I have been away from home for so long, I feel I have this duty to pay back, to be a useful person, giving something back to the society, because I am thankful for my parents. Without them, I wont be at where I am now. Whenever I think about my parents, tears would soak my eyes. On the other hand, I want to be with you too. How to choose? How not to disappoint 3 parties (perhaps more?)? How to achieve the best outcome without causing any dismay to anybody? Is it possible? How to define the best outcome?

I want to take the risk and gamble if I am just myself, but I am not just myself. INDIVIDUAL AUTONOMY VS PRINCIPLED AUTONOMY...

I just need more time, I am not intending to trap you. PLEASE WAIT FOR ME.

Love this song very much, this kind of love is too altruistic, though it's an ideal, but I don't think I could do it. Let me try to translate it.

祝君好　張智霖 曲/Cho Kyu Man 詞/周禮茂 編/黃丹儀
聽　你不斷呼叫我 Hark! You continuously yearning for me,
劃破　寧靜　我的心下墜 breaks the silence, my heart sinks
在難過　講　不出愛沒結果 So sad, love unspoken urequited
口和唇　緊緊閉鎖 Mouth and lips are sealed
哭　也一話都不說 I’d rather cry than to say anything
害怕　連累　你一生日月 Fear that I would bog u down for life
憾無缺　只差跟你曾遇過 No regret since we have met
給過你　太多波折 Given u too many obstacles

＊寧願沒擁抱　共你可到老(能夠終老) I’d rather have no embraces but could be with u when u r old
任由你　來去自如在我心底仍愛慕 I’d still love and admire u even letting u go
如若碰到　他比我好 If I encounter him and find out he’s better than me
只望 I will just look
停在遠處　祝君安好 from far away, wishing you well
雖不可(多麼想)　親口細訴 though I couldn’t tell u this in person.

說　太多話我想說 To speak, I have too much to say
但我　還是　要啞口道別 but I’d still depart in silence
任由我　天空海闊流著血 Just let me bleed in this big wide world
只要你　白似冰雪 All I want is you to be immaculate as snow.Repeat ＊

Yes, I am not this kind. I hope I could, but my moral standard hasn't become so advanced yet. If things don't work out, I don't want to know how u get on with life, who u r with , how many kids u r having etc. If i say i dun give a damn, the fact is, I do and I always will. I will be in eternal pain. If this happens, I DON'T WANNA KNOW. I will do my best to erase all the memories we once shared and cut u off completely from my life. And then I will lack the ability to love anyone ever again.

Well, sound like a pretty extreme thing to say at 2.30am in the morning, but this is the last say, I won't let myself thinking about this thing until after my exams. Afterall, it's just the situation we are loathing, not the person~ :P (thank god)

Bad dreams

Been having bad dreams for the past 2 nights...I wonder why?? They are all related to death?

Cheerful Spring~

Woke up automatically, followed by hot shower, walking under a sunny + warm weather and a McD's Big Breakfast... I haven't had a morning as relaxed and as happy as this for a long long long time!!!! In a really good mood right now. :D (SUPERVISION WITH SUPER-SMART DR. RUDOLF CARDINAL THIS AFTERNOON!!! MUST PREPARE HARD FOR THAT!)

While I was walking up the hill to New Hall, I notice the daffodils are opened!!!! I couldn't help feeling GLAD~~~~ THIS MARKS THE BEGINNING OF SPRING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Despite I was rather angry with somebody, and have been having some severely negative thoughts about the future, the ball is now in his court now. I don't give a damn! But if not for that, I will not realise what pisses me off! I am a normal person, I do get annoyed and impatient. The older I get, I more I understand about letting go my emotions and expressing what I really think, instead of suppressing them and pretending everything is fine.

No time for talking about non-sense now, back to brain mechanism of cognition!

finale~
CUCS variety show (27feb05)- item: fashion show~

Not much happened and yet so much?

Haven't written in my blog for awhile, nothing much happened since my last entry. Life in Cambridge as a finalist is all about STUDY. You live for your studies. Every day, I get up, rush to lectures, fetch readings, go back to college, sort out what food to eat for lunch and dinner, try to concentrate to do the endless reading (usually not so successful)...go to bed when I am tired (sometimes not so tired, but it's 2 am and I know 7 hours are simply not enough)...These days I have been getting around 6-7 hours of sleep, most ppl would say it's fair amount. I need 8-9 hours!!!! I know I am a pig... but it's weird, having only 6-7 hours, I feel tired in the morning, but not so tired in the afternoon and evening....then I can't get to sleep at night!! It then becomes a viscious cycle...

Many people in Cambridge had been ill with influenza since Feb, I guess now it's about to end with spring coming and winter drawing to a close. We had the coldest 2 weeks ever (from 20th Feb til 6th March). I have not yet gotten sick yet, and I hope I won't. I usually catch things the last minute, when everyone has recovered, I start getting ill. Thus, I am really conscious of people sneezing, coughing next to/behind me, I can't help frowning when this happens. The fact that they do not cover their nose and mouth when they sneeze/cough is a big problem!!!! The people in this country has a really poor knowledge of hygiene. I often see british men and women spat on the street, I guess they want to know how it's like to have SARS in the UK. Hong Kong people have already learnt their lesson. I am not saying HK people are perfect and immaculate about their hygiene standards (cos then they wouldnt have contracted SARS), but at least they are aware of how unhygienic/disgraceful/rude it is to cough without covering the mouth, and to spit on the street... In order to stop getting ill every so often, the brits must learn to be cleaner!!!

Mr. J lent me Sex and The City Season 6 last sunday, finished it within a few days! At first I told myself that I had to restrict myself, only to watch one or maybe two episodes a day, but then once I started, I was unable to stop! I have really bad EQ! I love the show so much! Those women had to date for 20 odd years in order to really find the one. I have only been out in the market for around 5-6 yrs and I think I have found my Mr. RIGHT...does that mean the Mr. RIGHT who I think he is now isn't really my "THE ONE"? NO!!!!! I don't think so!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I 'd like to think the one is really the one........

I have now KO-ed the complete SATC series...should have no more distractions...GREAT!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Me with Valentine's Flowers from Darling

written in the card,
" What a grand thing, to be loved. What a grander thing still, to love!!"

I feel so glad, dunno how to explain it..
.
Watched Briget Jones 2 last night...It's really funny. It seems that Mark Darcy (Colin Firth) is too good to be true, though we all hope that Mark Darcy really exists (optimally many similars), He has...
Good looks
Charming
is a lawyer
ABOVE ALL... HE LOVES Briget Jones and is obsessed by her (though he is very subtle)!!!! No matter how fat, humiliating she is at times...

...Somehow I thought to myself, I must not become like BJ, ...otherwise... >_<
(cos Ian darling is so much like Mark Darcy right now! Whenever I saw Colin Firth in the movie, I just thought of IAN...)

Third year CNY gathering at JIN LING on 10/2/05

GIANT CRABS!!!!

We had so much food (again)
-tea and rice (unlimited)
-soup (green and red legume and pork)
-chicken
-fish (lo yu?!)
-duck
-peipa tofu
-veg (choi sum)
-giant crabs (as shown above)

(not sure if I have missed out anything...)

It was such a lovely occasion, because
(i) The HK third years meet up for a meal, this hadnt happen for around 2 years already. This might probably one of the last chance that we would have as a reunion, while we are still in Cambridge before we all graduate and going in all directions.
(ii) I havent been to Jin Ling for a very long time!!! around 10 months?
(iii) So much nice food!
(iv) After dinner, Lydia, Kaikai, Wilson and I pretended that we wanted to hang out a bit, but Sam didnt really know our intentions...we deliberated hung around at CLOWNS, and sang HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Sam at midnight! Suprise in the most subtle manner! Lucky boy, CNY plus birthday, how can it be better?

How on earth is Leo wearing a pair of washing up gloves?

For this gathering, each of us was to wear something red.
Poor leo, did not have any piece of clothing which is red, so he took his washing up gloves as part of his New Year costume! I must say it is extremely innovative!

Lydia and me
Occasion: Third year Chinese New Year Gathering in Jin Ling.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO YOU!!!!!!!!

check out these funny ads and pics~
http://www.kontraband.com

Needa catch up with work...been occupied with so many other things for the past few nights. Will be so busy as well in the next few coming nights as well...

Last night, Chinese New Year's Eve. When everyone out there was celebrating, I was...SLEEPING!!!! Hahaha...got out of lecture at 6pm, could hardly kept my eyes open. Got back to my room, took a shower and headed to bed at 7.30pm (didnt even have dinner) ...slept and slept...got up at 8 something this morning. INCREDIBLE! I needed to catch up with sleep so much!

李敏's column in apple daily today..This came out at such a perfect time. I am enlightened.

讓 男 人 花 點 錢

很 多 女 人 都 愛 阻 止 男 人 買 無 聊 東 西 ， 甚 麼 絕 版 VCD ， 甚 麼 兩 座 位 跑 車 ， 在 精 打 細 算 的 女 人 眼 中 都 是 不 必 要 的 ， 她 們 會 勸 男 人 多 儲 點 錢 。 事 實 上 很 多 男 人 儲 不 到 錢 就 是 因 為 在 這 花 一 點 ， 那 花 一 點 。

最 近 朋 友 B 置 了 業 ， 他 說 工 作 情 緒 突 然 高 昂 ， 如 今 早 上 起 床 有 一 個 原 因 。 有 時 候 讓 男 人 花 錢 才 可 令 他 們 更 努 力 賺 錢 ， 問 題 是 花 錢 應 該 買 男 人 的 心 頭 好 還 是 女 人 的 心 頭 好 ？

到 錶 行 選 錶 ， 售 貨 員 不 斷 游 說 我 買 較 貴 的 那 一 款 ， 她 說 ： 「 女 人 錫 男 人 的 荷 包 ， 所 以 男 人 就 更 應 該 買 點 東 西 來 疼 錫 女 人 ， 反 正 這 些 都 是 女 人 慳 回 來 的 。 」 售 貨 員 即 是 售 貨 員 ， 女 顧 客 聽 了 買 得 心 安 理 得 ， 而 男 人 又 不 敢 反 駁 。

賢 淑 女 子 常 有 一 個 壞 習 慣 ， 就 是 不 讓 男 人 花 錢 買 任 何 無 聊 東 西 ， 不 僅 是 給 自 己 或 是 給 情 人 。 長 期 如 此 是 非 常 傷 感 情 的 ， 即 使 你 不 准 他 買 《 魔 戒 》 限 量 版 VCD ， 也 要 批 准 他 買 汽 車 裝 飾 物 ， 否 則 很 快 他 就 會 覺 得 你 似 家 長 多 過 情 人 。

而 最 笨 的 女 人 就 是 不 讓 男 人 買 無 聊 禮 物 給 自 己 ， 反 正 他 不 花 錢 在 你 身 上 也 會 把 錢 花 在 其 他 無 聊 之 處 ， 那 不 如 益 益 自 己 。